December 2017 Story by aka

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Mink Flips the Formula for Bad Lousy Mousers


One is dog. One is pig. Pig is dog and dog is pig.

The addition and subtraction of the recruiting wedge shredded the dusk of redirectives on the horizon. The redirectives were managing all totals and activities. The activities of yesterday rewound from the pound and the pet was maximum duty. Duty is wag dog. And duty is pig wig.

Two screens murking, absolute barks. Twinny and Mink powered the screen with towels and markets for Murray and Biscuit. Twinny blacked out the baskets of damage, for the wandering blurry was tender and slurry. Hoses supposes the roses so clear, mussing the tissues that transmit the spears. No longer drumming the packs of two snuppets, the mirror and frither frowned down on plenty of ruptures.

No hospital to fry and no frying appliances to hospitalize. These are the clearer things that correspond to two-edged mousers.

Jabbity jippers marked up on the paw shank. Twinny shot back and relinquished the circles, towering the master that barked and harnessed. The yarn was a tower with raspberry shields and the tromping was yonder for two shawl appeals. Ratty shins, rattier shacks. Meanwhile Mee-maw had rounded the backshore maps.

That Mink was neutering the pond was no natural transfer. Those wasps that had been throwed away meddled too much for Twinny to get clunked up. Too many times they had peddled for plush and never got nothing but mush. The newer pushed at the power bandwich. The sewer maneuvered the rattled out bunch. But fire sprouted on the fluted neutral with grain.

Twinny's hash was now snuck up. She rendered the snuck for Mink to trip out in. Lousy spins were re-checked to ensure the contraption would relay and get floppy. Bigger balls than had ever been seed ramped off the sledge to examine the damp son. And that exact damp son was the mod that tripled with loose.

"Was this wiggy backed up?" Twinny snished in a priz.

"Not the least of your purry," Mink blattered in witch.

The two stared at one another for several days without breaking. Then they started spinning anything they could get their jaws into. The tightness of the tough traffic wore on the baggage tilts. And there was no wedding appropriated for the tubs that was lifted.

Meanwhile Mee-maw had just been jiggling the passages to see what could be reaped. This thing was tiny and there was no making it git big. Those warps that wrinkled with a perfect look had dinked and pocked the portals too much.

Murray and Biscuit had done created a company that couldn't be updated no more. They was wallering in hundred dollar bills that hung from stringy clouds and the birds was nipping as hard as they could. If they sang a song it would be a bad one. If they sang a bad one it would be a plane that would carry plenty of stuff to the invoices that got approved.

Twinny straddled a meeting with Twinny and Mink. The meeting was orange but there was no Mickey Mouse ordering. The only things what got ordered was stuff that was flowed in from way away places like Taiwan and France. The kind of stuff that kings and jesters put in garbage disposers. That was the way business would operate for five minutes. Then things would be transferred to somewhere else that couldn't be easily located.

Ham for bitches is all that was ordered. But that was enough to start yodels and hollers. Them bitches chewed chunks and spewed 'em so hard that they blowed large cement holes in the middle of everything. And then they gave dog a pig bone.

Mink bragged about his music taste even though he actually didn't got none. The only stomach he could arch was the one that lifted its worth in methods that never jawed out. His sparkly things was real pretty but no one knowed it. Mink liked to think that if it sparkled it was good. But the truth was that nothing was ever good no way, and that was just a way the thing stood.

Cattle that play in the middle of fields. Flowers that die in centrally located positions. Masters with permission to differentiate and crap. Everything drifting in positions, even when positions done disappear.

This is where the thing is teething off the plastic until it starts to climb up and away, its sassy nothingness blaring away at anyone who won't listen. It thinks it is big cheese but it is not even little cheese. It lives in worlds where there is nothing yet thinks it is some little king of the liking.

Those worlds ain't divided up and there's not much chance they will be. There's a doodle where you mark it and there's a doodle where you don't. But each and every one of the damn things creates poodle messages that can be retrieved at some point in the future.

Boo at the mistress with ripple and tear. Her royal batch is clammy and taxed up. This batch was too reachy and retracted for bastards mashed food with their mashers. All the paws in Nevada couldn't sass the filth of dove mush. All sticky and punch, the stuff couldn't be done with.

And then there's normal because what it does is the stuff that wants. There's no trimming them edges and no sanding them corners. It is what it ain't, three nips in a bag. Who doesn't want to join in big parade? Everyone wants to be part of everything that go on because they all know if not then thing will begin seeming cold and real.

There is plenty of noodle. Plenty noodle for you. Plenty noodle for family. Plenty noodle for friend. There will always be plenty of noodle. Never need for worry over.

Worry is for warm thing that creep out. It is thing that slow down. It is thing that grow extension. Is warm extension what grabs large lamp chunk.

Wig wag wog is snail of dog. Wag wog wig is tail of pig.


Additional Items Received:

Ryan Adams - Heartbreaker (deluxe edition)
Ryan Adams - Dustjacket (relaxed edition)
Additional Items Composed - Reversal of radishes
Additional Items Reversed - Back to the additional items
Adele - My frisky rat puppy done ate my head off
Alice Copper - Lob it to Seth
Allman Brothers - Crackdown concert 1986
Shirlette Ammons - Language barrier
Am Not - Am too
Anohni - Hopelessness
Anthrax - For all kings
Antlers for Booboo - Oh no not that tired old runt again
Apples Got Smushy - Train smush
Athens Is Not A City - Trauma for the bush animals
Augusta Is Not A City - Wilma for the plush panels

Bad Bump - Banana tread
Badfigure - Crooked down
Bambi Dambi - Lambi
Ballerina Pumps - Blackass
Barge - Limpy
Beadulls - Desmocker
Beatles - Medium rare
Bee Numb - Numb bee
Beyonce - Sorry
Beyonce - I can dance even if I can't do anything else very well
Beyonce - If all you want is an ugly body and face, I've got both
Beyonce - Don't you get tired of hearing my stupid name all the time
Beyonce - I'm really a boring old hag who looks terrible without thick layers of make-up
Beyond the Beyonder - Blander and blander
Bjork - Vulnicura live
Black Tabitha - Pastor of senility
Blankets for Blankets - Laps
Blender in a Blinder - Fizzle
Breezer the Flew - Like dazzlers in fume
Butler Pudding - Lippity gris gris
Buzz's Lamp Cord - Tawny frink

Car Mump - Dazed and refused
Casket of Corformity - Laser dog
Cast of Cast - Lastly
Cat Grave - Mickey's laboratory
Cesula - Maid in martians
Chance The Rapper - Coloring book
Chicago - Love songs
Chump - Malaria
Chunks of Paisley Pumps - Lordy the snore is a plaza burn
Eric Clapton - I still do
Phil Collins - No jacket required
Come To Lulu's Nurse - Romp and the bumpy tum tum
Confederate Railroad - Happy to be alive
Conscious Or Not - Grumpy lazy
Crap You Like - Tape measure
Crosby, Stills & Nash - Survival Sunday
Crunchy Links - Switches and prawns
Czerchnkii - Dim

Dadfinger - Where's dad's finger when you need it?
Dae Dae - Mae Mae
Daisy Days - Freezing
Damn People - Damn People
Damn Tumblers - Damn Tumblers
Damn Warp - Damn Warp
Damn Zoo - Damn Zoo
Deftones - Gore
Diets Are For Dimwits - Lassie's lost pudding cup
Dimmer than Dim - Inputs
Dion - New York is my home
Dirty Pennies - Flocks and pimps
Doves That Die Today - Lassie
Drippy Dennis - Directional
Dry Potato - Sync
Ducks for Ducks - Nine hundred ponies
Dumb Sounds - Like Nanny and the poodle

Each and Each - Teach
Eachy - Preachy
Eat The Bounty Feathers - Naptime
Ectonerf - Bah baddah bah
Elephant Muff - Beneath the blurry knob
Elves and Bumpy Thumpers - Original motion picture soundtrack
Emergency Flakes - Phasers
Empty - Flow
Empty Flower - 1 2 3 4
Enter the Entrance With Lockets - Glasses on the puddle
Eventually We'll All Die With Nothing - Pom poms
Everyone But - But Everyone
Ewe - Ranch funk
EZ - Not so

FA - La la
Famous Famous - Converter
Far Out Far In - Farin
Faxes Forever - Limp little pixies
Ferz - Lizzy
Fifty Million - Zero lads
Finks Forever - Live at the dead
Five Times Fifty-Five - Live
Four Times Four Is Four - Five times
Foxes - All I need
Fume - Lumps
Funky Laminate - Parking
Fur For Francis - Pouches

Gas Pumps - Last primper
Gauge Rage - Now cow
Germany's Burp - Lamp drill
Get Your Begging Done - Tower bitch
Vince Gill - Down to my last bad habit
Goo Goo Dolls - Boxes
Graham Slackers - Naturally grabby
Ariana Grande - Into you
Grass Patches - Dolby
Josh Groban - Stages live
David Guetta - This one's for you
Guns N Roses - Acoustic session: Radio broadcast 1987

Hamster on a Bun - Heartache on a bun
Hay - Hay
Hazle - Measurements
Hell for Humans - Happiness is a dumb puppy
Help Me Help Me - Liver
Help the Hopeless - Bloody hearts get you nowhere
Hissy - Laserbon
Hitt - Dawn for the loud birds
Hizzers - Stuck
Ian Hunted - Punts and nuttters
Husperate - ADN
Hut for Henry - Universe of sandy
Huzzle - Earlier albums

Ian - Jackknife
Icky - Picky, picky, picky
If It Dies Don't Touch It - I offered more than they wanted and they took it
If You Knew Nothing You Would Be Nothing - Drips
Inky Doll - Dampness and dryness
In The End The Beginning - Ridgefield
It Stays Warm - Square butter
IX Lamb Sweater - To each his each
IZZ - Each his to his

Michael Jackson - Off the wall
Michael Jackson - Towers of nothing
Michael Jackson - Nosey dopes
Jerry's Apple - Towers
Jerry's Crud - Narry a buster
Jersey is Swervy - Translustre
Jethro Toil - Sick as a tick
Jethro Wump - Aquatong
Elton John - Wonderful crazy night
Elton John - Where did my voice go?
Jones Is A Donkey - Drammamine
Jones Is An Elephant - Mine ain't mine
Judas Priest - Battle cry
Junk Is Just Junk - Lady trunk

Kaas - Lacey
Kalesh - Kaos
Kandy and the Ks - Lassie's drool
Kows - Land of the Kows
Krap - Krap
Krazy Cow - Lots of tips
Krunchy Krunch - Captain's caps and tons
Kudzu's Lamp - Drastic
Kunks - The Late Glossy Kunks Album

Ladies For Pretzels - Louder than the other thing that we had discussed earlier
Lamb Peppers - Smuppy
Cindi Lauper - Detour
Laxative Preamble - Naps and snappers
Let There Be Let - Now there be meow
Lisa Said - First time, long time
Lists - Stop the Lists
Loretta Lynn - Full circle
Loud and Loud - Dull and dull
Lumineers - Cleopatra
Lumps - Lousy mouses
Lung Disease - Trowel

Manners and Nanners - Tablets for pokey
Masta Ace - The falling season
Matchbox - Going down there
Math for Math's Sake - Plazas
Maze Lops - Trazzler
Mazer's Big Torch Bucket - Lipsy
Millie's Pork Bucket - Boxes won't go away
Monkey Chuck - Arlene
Monkey Davis - Nervous
Monkey Pauline - Damnable
Moo Moo the Bow Wow - Trouser's ain't fresh no more
Motorhead - Clean your clock
Mrowl - Prowling for mrowl
Murphy and Nop - Dammy and slop
Murphy's Paw - Plaid and dumb

David Nail - Fighter
Nasal and Tonsil - Lasers and urchers
Ned and the Headrumpers - Trowels
Aaron Neville - Apache
Newsboys - God's not dead
No More Blouses - Farmy
More More Cactus - Deal or no no
Now Cows - Blouses and thermometers
Numb's Fumbler - Town and mouth

Octorub - Norbie
Oh No That Old Shithead Is Here Again - Rotten old schmucks with no manners
Oooh - Uuuuuh
Oooh Oooh - Uuuuuh uhhh
Opposite of Opposite - Lopposite
Orange Floyd - Sharp glide of the goon
Osmosis - USB #7
Other Muzzles - Howdy Pops
Oz and the Schnoz - Pow wows and monkeys

Painted Fuss - Nope
Pants and Pantless - Rainy press
Part Blub - Fran is ugly
Paws With Fingers - Ink bus
Pet Shop Boys - Super
Poodle Powder - Dust of the dawgie
Mike Posner - At night, alone
The Puddles - Nappy load
Punk Biscuits - Sap
Punk Noodles - Take this noodle and cook it
Puny - Runny infection
Pusfergradison - Nay, the basket sayeth

Quacks - Trippy truck
Quails and Trucks - Lamb power
Queen For A Tray - Lower the pork
Query - Stop the questions
Quest for Dope - Smoking snuff
Quails Got Drunk - Beer and tissue paper
Quicker Than Daffy - Cords that don't work
Quiet Little Worm Thing - Never thought about it and never want to now
Quiz Germs - Links that don't work
Quurtie - Lousy bench

Radiohead - Daydreaming
Radiodud - Half of the basic shop
Debbie Rafter - Lemme after
Raws - Raws and raws
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Dark necessities
Reel to Raoul - Mouthpiece
Reform Club - Never yesterday
Rely On Relish - Candy dash
Mick Rhodes & The Hard Eight - Paradise city
Rihanna - Anti
Rolling Bones - Get your mama's kraut
Rumpy - USBs and RTDs
Runny - Tippy's revenge
Rush - Beneath, between and behind
Ruzzer - Bow to the Ruzzer
Rylo - The dog's head is not steady anymore

Larry Samual - Barney doesn't have hugs for me
Santa Died Last Night - Presenting...
Santana - Santana IV
Blake Shelton - If I'm honest
Blake Shelton - If you're into what I do you're obviously on the wrong web site
Blake Shelton - If people think I'm handsome they must really be confused and retarded
Blake Shelton - If I'm dishonest
Shotgun Louise - Rampy dim
Shotgun Tina - Lousy lamps
Shotgun Zappa - Mouses and mouses
Smashing Drumsticks - Pass the pepper
Smuppy - The tatters that ground pepper
Snoop Dogg - Coolaid
Sparse - Kim's Ono spy mouse
Rick Springfield - Rocket science
Bruce Springsteen - Roxy night
Mavis Staples - Livin' on a high note
Steely Dan - Doing it in California
Barbra Streisand - Encore
Styx - Suite madame blue: Radio broadcast 1977
Sultans of Swing - Subcontinental drift
Swap and Change - Loudness weird
Swenter - Flowers
Swy - Rent

Tai Tai - Lists
Talking Sheds - Lambs forking up tonsils
Tea For Lunch - Massachusetts isn't a country
Teepee Tupperware - Laura's butter pand
Telltale - Taller toll
Thuds - Ready for emperors
Thunder - All you can eat
Justin Timberlake - Can't stop the feeling
Trunk Idiots - Laugh when it's all over
Try To Try - Stop and try
Tummy Bus - Lambs and prawns
Tunker - Lassie's paw
Twisted Sister - Rock 'N' Roll Saviours: The early years
Steven Tyler - We're all somebody from nowhere
TZ397 - Rowl the smunk

Ugly Banana - How do the hussy wink
Ugly Orange - Do the mouse
Ultraplucks - Eyebrow mania
Umbrella Vision - Church of tassle
Uncle Duck - Mushed
Uncle Pregnant - Does and rodents
Keith Urban - Ripchord

Various Artists - A collection of dull dribble that no one will ever notice
Various Artists - We stopped makin' em because they stopped buyin' em
Various Artists - No one buys these kinds of compilations anymore so that's why we keep producing 'em
Various Artists - Tribute to someone whose name we can't remember
Various Artists - Trying to get something heard never works
Various Artists - The most boring bands you never cared to hear
Various Artists - We've the last ones to know the last ones
Various Artists - Our albums are always the first to get thrown away
Various artists - Who gets to eat the trash

Wally Is Near - Stamp that thing goodbye
Wanda and the Wandas - Limp
We Don't Get It - Now is the now
Well I Guess This Is Just Another One - Lumps
Whether Or Not - Lousy weather
William XIII - XIII or 238
Lucinda Williams - Ghosts of Highway 20
Wind That Goes - Don't

Xie - La la the distance away
X-ray Pecs - Lookie away
X-ray Stats - Box cutters and tramplers
Xzistance - Lift down

Yack Yack - Tacky tick
Yanni - The dream concert
Yell All The Time For Whatever You Pay For It - Taxi service
Yellow Floyd - Park wide until noon
Yesterday's Potties - Damp portions
Yes We Will Be Bananas - Trap doors
Yes You - You guessed it
You might - Yes you might
You never - Well I never
Yoyos for Panama - Sharp
Yoyos for Zop - Trollo mia presto
Yuck This Tastes Awful - Don't eat it then

Zappa and the Zappettes - Trown
Frank Zappa - How flowers got in the potty train
Zunk - How the leaves got patchy
Zupper - Towels for Blanche
Zyle - Twelve and fifty

©2017 LMNOP aka dONW7