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September 2024:
  babysue comic strips, News, Views & Perspectives and Notable New Releases
  See different stuff each month at babysue.com.

  SEPTEMBER 2024 NEWS, VIEWS & PERSPECTIVES

What Is In Our Landfills?
Important new studies have been completed by leading scientific geologists that have revealed exactly what is in our landfills.  These specialists solicited the assistance of clerks, secretaries, parchment paper, plastic boxes, gophers, artichokes, numbers, diet medications, little squirrels, sunglasses, chicken patties, blankets, whiskey, coffee, fluffy pillows, plasma, atoms, weasels, clouds and alarm clocks.  Once all the information was gathered the information was simulated and then the information was recalculated using complicated scientific equations that can only result in completely accurate results because that is why they were calculated in the first place.  And then, before the information could be presented to the public, the scientists performed over fifty thousand additional tests to ensure total and complete accuracy.  So you can be sure the results you see (below) are accurate.  According to the study, landfills in the U.S.A. are made up of the following items:

Barbra Streisand Records     32%
Beanie Babies     30%
Bread Machines     20%
Garth Brooks CDs     47%
China Sets Received as Wedding Gifts     23%
Craft Supplies     24%
Encyclopedia Sets     5%
Lowrey Organs     2%
McDonald's Toys     40%
National Geographic Magazines     17%
Precious Moments Figurines     80%
Tupperware    23%
Other (miscellaneous)     1%

[Some more focused pensive readers may be focusing on the fact that the percentages above do not add up to 100%.  Please be aware of the fact that this is not an error.  It is due to the fact that there is a higher percentage of each item in the landfills than the study would allow, so the extra percentage points were left intact to emphasize how much of these materials is actually present and accounted for.]

Birthday Celebrations Replaced With Counseling Sessions.
For hundreds of years individuals have placed special emphasis on the day they were born.  And those around them join them to celebrate each year on their one special day.  But recent studies have revealed that birthdays are a source of great anxiety for most people and often result in days or weeks of depression.  Accordingly, important scientists have come to the conclusion that gifts, parties and dining out pale in comparison to the possible benefits gained from therapy sessions.  In most major metropolitan areas presents are now being replaced by gift certificates offered by therapists for giving.  Individuals are far happier when they realize that a birthday is not a cause for celebration but a cause for concern.  These days serve as reminders of our inevitable death and, for those with no friends, they are a stark reminder of their isolation in the world and how they have nothing to live for.  Those who have opted for counseling sessions to celebrate their special day report that they become slightly less suicidal than normal, although they still tend to focus on death most of the time.  The next time you think about giving a friend a cake or present on their birthday, consider putting them on a path to psychological well-being instead.  Prepaid counseling is far better than cakes with candles.  And it is much more expensive, which means that you truly do care.  [continued below]

Humans Born As Full Grown Adults.
For generations childhood has been difficult for millions upon millions of people.  Why does everyone have to go through all of the hell associated with being a child?  Everyone with even half a brain realizes that those years spent as a youngster were the worst thing they could ever imagine.  But what if there was a way to avoid all of this?  What if there was a way to go directly into adulthood and skip all those worrisome issues?  Well fear not, dear readers.  Scientists have once again come up with a solution to this problem that has perplexed human beings for hundreds of years.  Top leading geneticists recently came up with a way of altering specific strands of DNA that speed up the gestation period twenty to twenty-five times faster than normal.  As such and accordingly, once the DNA strands have been adjusted the average woman will be able to give birth to full-sized humans that are between 18 to 22 years old.  The process has already been tested on more than five million women and the results have been overwhelmingly positive.  All those years spent dealing with crying babies, dirty diapers, difficult temperaments, problems in school and depressing puberty will soon be a thing of the past.  And the best part is that in the very near future untamed spoiled brats screaming in public will be history.

The Return of Corded Phones.
After many years of various issues associated with portable telephones experts have finally come to the conclusion that corded phones are far more reliable and the sound quality is obviously superior.  Carriers have taken note of the latest studies and are now constructing Hookup Stations all over the country.  You can probably already find one located outside the front of your favorite establishment.  The Hookup Stations allow you to plug in your telephone so that you can make and receive calls.  Over the course of the next few months wireless communication will no longer be available.  Many folks have expressed immediate concern about their current wireless telephones.  Not to worry, dear readers.  While they will no longer function without a cord, all wireless telephones will be compatible with the new Hookup Stations.  Some have also expressed concern that the Hookup Stations will not be able to accommodate so many people.  No need to worry about this either, as each station will be able to simultaneously accommodate over ten thousand users.  How can this be, you ask?  Simple.  Once users have used up all the plug ins at the station (usually fifty or less), a transmission system will take over which will allow users to access the station by way of a cord that plugs into the cigarette lighter inside their vehicles.  This does, of course, mean that vehicles will once again need to be manufactured with cigarette lighters.  But that's no big deal.  What does all of this mean?  It just means that some things are headed in the right direction.  And in 2024 that is very rare...and a very good thing.  [continued below]

Teletubbies vs. Boohbah.
Not that long ago there were some surprisingly creative splashes in the world of children's television shows.  First came the controversial Teletubbies.  We loved 'em from the moment we saw 'em and still do.  Their simple lighthearted antics have entertained millions over the years.  And while the show is mainly aimed at very young toddlers some enlightened adults also took the bait.  We thought things couldn't get any better.  But then along came Boohbah and things got even more interesting.  The show features characters that look very much like uncircumcised Teletubbies.  Boohbah is similar in many ways to Teletubbies but it is much more abstract and peculiar.  There is one unfortunate and serious flaw in both shows.  Midway through the proceedings, footage of real children enters the equation.  These segments really interrupt the overall escapist flow and are ultimately very irritating and boring.  And they seem to drag on and on and on to infinity.  So be aware of the fact that you must fast forward through these crappy sections in order to fully enjoy the good stuff.  Although we love both, we have found that over time Boohbah has held up the best.  And that's probably because the show is less reality-based.  If you've never seen either, we recommended beginning with Teletubbies and working your way up to the amazingly psychedelic Boohbah.  Both are an acquired taste.  But once you acquire the taste you will always be tasty.

Entertainment & Music News
* Some music holds up really well over time while much sounds dated and awful.  Fitting snugly into the second category is the band Grand Funk Railroad.  The band was never a favorite around here in these parts, but we didn't really hate 'em either.  We recently stumbled across the band's best of compilation and decided to see what their songs sound like in 2024.  Ewwwwwww...what's that smell...?  A couple of the hits are mildly entertaining but, for the most part, the music is irritating and awful.  Just say no to Grand Funk Railroad.  *  On the other side of the coin we have Paul Weller's 1970s band The Jam.  Over time this band's music has held up incredibly well and their first four albums remain at the top of our list of all-time favorites.  If you've never heard In The City, This Is The Modern World, All Mod Cons and Sound Affects (their best) they are all highly recommended.  *  The Rawling Stones have a new single out called "Light Mah Harr Own Farr" which features backing vocals from Kate Bunch and Johnny Richmen.  The single was released to celebrate the birth of Mick and Bianca's new baby Jigger.  *  Stiv Bators is touring again.  *  Little Anthonie and the Imperial Car are slated to perform five shows in Ireland this year which will showcase their exciting new jumpsuits.  *  After a courtship that lasted more than three centuries Ron Jeremy and Nanette Fabray have finally tied the knot.  The couple are now living a quiet life in their new home in Mississippi growing onions and seaweed.  *  Three Pairs of Boots is the California-based husband and wife duo of Andrew Stern and Laura Arias.  Stern and Arias have a new album out entitled Boot Scootin' that is chock full of surprisingly commercial pop with a country and western flair.  *  There is so much junk music coming out of Nashville, Tennessee in 2024 that you have to filter out all the bad stuff because most of it is unlistenable.  A new artist that definitely caught our attention is Beth Lee who sounds decidedly un-Nashville.  Lee has a new eleven track album out entitled Hardly Matters that has a cool indie rock/pop sound that reminds us of some of our favorite underground popsters from the 1990s.  We can't help but dig cool melodic songs like "Another Day," "Blue Skies," "Blue Valentine," and "Umbrella."  Beth has a groovy voice and cool presence and her music is instantly likable and friendly.  *  A super rare episode of Supermarket Sweep has surfaced that features contestants GG Allin, Joan Crawford, Nico and Phyllis Diller.  It's a particularly odd viewing experience watching this group of folks madly grabbing items from grocery shelves in an attempt to win five thousand dollars.  *  Farewell Arctic Rodeo.  After releasing quality credible music for many years, we are sad to report that the guys at the German label Arctic Rodeo Recordings are throwing in the towel.  These fellows were apparently running a label for the right reason (to expose people to good music rather than awful sellout crap) so we are very sorry to see them close up shop.  If you ever wanted any of the label's releases now would be a great time to shop.  To liquidate inventory they are offering some great deals.  So shop now and get 'em while you still can.  *  The band Propaganda has a new self-titled album out on the Bureau B label.  The new album features eight slick tracks.  *  American Roots singer/songwriter Christopher Lockett has a new album out entitled A Town We Painted Blue.  Released on the Gritbiscuit label, the album presents twelve tracks featuring Lockett's decidedly unpretentious sound.  *  Exciting Fanny news.  Those who picked up the Fanny box set entitled First Time In A Long Time: The Reprise Recordings were treated to one of the great overlooked bands from the 1970s.  Fanny was an all-girl group who opened the doors for who-knows-how-many artists of the future.  Long out of print, that box set has been selling for outrageously high sums...forcing it out of reach of most music fans.  So here's the deal.  The fine folks at Cherry Red are making the music available again.  But this time it's being offered at an insanely cheap price.  The new box set is entitled The Reprise Years 1970-1973 and you can bet your very best booties it is a must have.  The girls in Fanny have been overlooked for far too long.  Hopefully the release of this box set will open up more people's eyes -- and ears -- to the girl group who paved the way for so many.  Fanny RULES.  *  The guys in the Los Angeles-based experimental punk band Carnage Asada have a new album out entitled Head On A Platter (released on the Historical Records label).  At a point in time when there are so many limp-wristed bands in the U.S.A. these guys' hard rockin' sound stands out big time.  The album features twelve rhythm driven rockers.  *  California's Rebecca Pidgeon has an interesting new moody album out entitled Songs of L.A.  Independently released, the album features twelve cool songs with intelligent lyrics and exceptionally smooth vocals.  Some trippy sound effects on this one.  *  Public Eyesore's Bryan Day continues with his mission to expose the world to unusual and decidedly non-commercial artists...the kind that you will never ever hear in the crummy and dull world of mainstream commercial music.  Day seems to always pick some of the most challenging and unique artists.  Just out is Successful Utilization by Tungu.  Tungu is Sergey Senchuk along with a variety of other artists who lent their talents to the recordings.  The new album can probably best be described as modern classical and/or experimental.  Some would say this is non-music.  Whatever you call it, the album is a peculiar experience and only recommended for those into truly unusual recordings.  Also out on Public Eyesore is a new self-titled album from Stephen Flinn and Bryan Eubanks.  This one was recorded live at the Petersburg Art Space in Berlin in 2023.  The album presents one long improvisational track that is sparse and peculiar.  So very much unlike your average live album released in the United States in 2024 (!).  And lastly, now out on the eh? label (also run by Public Eyesore) is a cassette album entitled Dustsceawung.  This project is the trio comprised of Miri Karraker (viola), Noah Ophoven-Baldwin (coronet) and Mitch Stahlmann (flute).  We did not have a cassette player handy to experience this one, but we know from experience that if it's on eh? . . . it's A-OK in our little corner of the universe.  *

September 2024 Notable New Releases

Milo Binder - The Unspeakable Milo Binder (Heyday Again / Real Gone Music).  Lotsa Glub Bortch - Pocky Doodle Pindy (Trimmy Damm).  Dean Spunt - Basic Editions (Drag City).  Mass of Amara - Through the Ether.  nraakors - Hoppel Poppel.  Hellsongs - Return of the Hellsingers.  Lars Bech Pilgaard - Folklorica (Momeatdad Records).  Peter Wise - Nothing More, Nothing Less.  Tangerine Dream - Live at Shepherd's Bush Empire, London 11th June 2005 (DVD, Gonzo Multimedia).  Mark Basino - Top of the World (Parasol).  Ty Segall - Love Rudiments (Drag City).  The Box of Plunge Stripes - Dripping Inside the Flip Machine Bernard (Leaf Stuff Music).  Banana Glue - Ripe for Snacking (Lift Her Panels).  Platform Bitties - Slaw Dogs For Papa (Medium Ripper).  Slosh Potato - Aunt Uncle Mince Sprocket (Six Awfuls).  MK Ultras - MK Ultras (Big Neck Records).  Steve Moriarty - Mia Zapata and The Gits: A Story of Art, Rock and Revolution (book, Independent Book Publishers Association - IBPA).  Horsebread - Unicorn.  Bridge To Mouse Kingdom - Found Lots of Things In A Dream (Prowl and Plummet).  The Unwanted Baby - We Fill A Landfill With Us (Ya'll You All You's Yes Yes).  Bowling Ball Company - My Checks (Ouch).  Serves Me Right - Mouth and My Big Me (Cup of Coffee).  Earlier Than Usual - We Got Pretty Loud (Of Course Not).  Checking Account - Make the Coffee Real Strong (Extra Money).  A Wife Is A Thing - We Can Make Some Money (Genius There How Does It Look).  Someone Wants - Hello (Through College).  Fume For Rent - Major (Sounds Okay).  Talented Nobody - Room and Board (Music Lessons).  It Won't Work - Buy New (Discouraging Words).  Dead Folks Is Lucky Folks - Bowzer Takes A Bone For Betty (Cut It Out Music).  Financial Bind - My Brilliant Idea (Spare Rooms).  Brevity - Home Is Where Your Dog Is (Think Like A Key).  Rogers & Butler - Studio 3 (Think Like A Key).  Ian Gothe & Fernando Perdomo - Never Let Go: A Tribute To Camel (Think Like A Key).  Various Artists - Yesterday's Sunshine Today: New Magical Covers of Nirvana Songs (1967-69) (Think Like A Key).  That's That - Five Hundred Bucks (Package Deal).  Declare - Lookie Thar (Flower Coyote Roundup).  The Distinguished Order of Disobedience (aka The D.O.O.D.) - Dissonance (Chaos Music / SelfMadeRecords / Earache).  Jon Flynn - Cherry Cherry (Kool Kat Musik).  Laura Karpman & Nora Kroll-Rosenbaum - What If...? An Immersive Story: Original Soundtrack (Hollywood Records).  The Lacs - Story of a Trainwreck (Dirt Rock Empire).  The Meringues - Pavlova's Dog.  The Courettes - The Soul of...The Fabulous Courettes.  Velvetcut - Do I Do EP (Rockhopper Music).  Daryl Mosley - Long Days and Short Stories (Pinecastle Records).  Bad Attitude - Right From the Start (FnA Records).  Jo Serrapere - The Beautiful Ones Vol. 1 & 2.  Steve Leon and The Accusations - Borrowed Time Bonanza.  Precursor - Thick & Thin.  DFactor Pop - Sing Along Songs Vol. 1 EP.  Peter Jesperson - Euphoric Recall (book, Minnesota Historical Society Press).  Emily Millard - Hazy Blue.  Triple Bogie - Pastiche.  Boogeyman - Rotten Leaves (Metal Devastation Radio).  Sink To The Sea - A Gift Carried By the Left Hand (Labile Records).  Iain Matthews - How Much Is Enough (Sunset Blvd. Records).  Drifting In Silence & Suseti - Echos Beyond (Labile Records).  Icicle - Prudence (Herd Records).  LOSS - Human Factor (DMG).  Rich Kids On Steroids - Rich Kids On Steroids EP.  Amautica - Sin Alteras (Aenaos Records).  Fourth Dominion - Diana's Day (Fiadh Productions).  Burpsy - Claws That Claw (Ratdammit).  North Now - Three Miles (Holding Back Productions).  Charlie Knew - Walter Cellar (With Expert Music).  Another Nail - Reason (Slaw For Lunch).  Coilguns - Odd Love (Humus Records).  The dBs - Repercussion (Propeller Sounds).  Sam Wilkes - iiyo iiyo iiyo (Wilkes Records).