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April 2000 Reviews From the Phoney Methodic Barnhole of

RATING SYSTEM | Akky Pokky Bokky | Bruce Anderson | Beatnik Termites | Call | Florence | Pow | Petula Clark | Claudia Malibu | Dragstrip Courage | Eels | Element 101 | Empire State | Frankie Machine One | Fu Manchu | Little Red Rocket | Tara MacLean | Kenneth G. Mills | Music Conferences | Leona Naess | Nobodys/The Beautys | Oregon | Parasites | Poco | Sloppy Seconds | Iggy & The Stooges | Summer Hymns | Travis | Witness UK | Zine Guide


Akky Pokky Bokky - Slaw Lamble Drikker Blaw (Video/Audio/Fabric/Tapestry/Injection/Infection)
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaawe, nodda modda duh wawsuh faw Akky Pokky Bokky (!). Faw musser an' tosser rabble rakker shaw shaw frennie meanie tooters. Such maw ketter paw ketter gnawble warber to zinno...zinno plint zinno DUNTS! Excer machinner fuhfuh PIN. Lesto pin jaw binter plaw flinx dinx WA. Duh wawsuh PIN wawsuh BINX. Dacker ubb "Bokky"? Nexture of baw, bawsy of PA. Neener PUUT! (Rating: 2)

Bruce Anderson - Balkana (CD, Family Vineyard, Instrumental/abstract)
The soundtrack to an abstract painting. Without a doubt, Family Vineyard is one of the best new independent labels in the United States...releasing material that has absolutely NO CHANCE IN HELL of chart success or any substantial degree of radio airplay. You see, dear reader, in these times we are living in...not everyone is driven by the almighty dollar and the quest for grand success. No, believe it or not...there are still some folks (and companies) out there who are driven purely by their artistic instincts and quest to create credible material. The difficult part is simply finding them. Bruce Anderson is not an artist you are likely to find while strutting the ailes of Tower Records...nor are you likely to read about him in the latest pages of supposedly "alternative" slick magazines. The music is a strange slow blur of accidents and instruments...all bleeding and melding into one another. The overall effect is both strange and eerie. You won't find yourself "humming along" and your toes won't be "tapping" (ha!). Instead, the music will put you into a slight trance...despite the fact that this is far removed from so-called "trance music"! Very, very cool indeedy doo. Check out the label's web site at YES. (Rating: 5)

Beatnik Termites - Bubblecore! (CD, Recess, Pop/rock)
Funny how so few people ever categorized The Ramones as bubblegum...which is what they basically were, just amped up to the max. Beatnik Termites pick up the Ramones' discarded bubblegum axe and whack away like total crazies. For better or worse, this band is probably going to alienate people...and it's not because they're not damn good and entertaining. What will probably happen is that the "punks" will find the music too much like bubblegum and the "bubblegum freaks" will probably find the music too harsh and loud. Oh can't please everyone. The Termintes, however, please us just the way we like to be pleased. Nice catchy tunes and cool harmonies mixed with buzzsaw guitars and simple yet driving rhythms make this a mighty tasty musical milkshake indeed. Tunes like "I Don't Wanna Hang Around," "Skateboard," and "Circles" are simplicity personified. This little babydog is a total splash of F-U-N , and just what we needed for Spring 2000... NEATO TREATO! (Rating: 5)

Call | Florence | Pow - These Are the Plans... (CD, Spongebath, Pop)
As more and more time goes names become more and more obscure and bizarre. We're not even going to inquire where the name Call | Florence | Pow came from. Our only comment is that it is a BITCH to type...! You can always bet that if it comes from the cool-as-Hell Spongebath camp in Murfreesboro, that it's going to be a good thing. This band consists of David Tobias and Brian Jacobs...two fellows who have been friends (and songwriting partners) since their elementary school days. Now they've teamed up with Matt Mahaffey (of Self) to produce this disc. The best descriptive term here would be "techno pop"...because of the abundance of studio trickery going on in these compositions. But unlike most techno pop, the technology is not being used to cover up the fact that the songs have no substance. No, instead Tobias and Jacobs are adept songwriters...coming up with tunes are are rather fabulous...particularly when you consider the fact that they are only 18 years old (!). Slightly obtuse and heavy in the mental arena... (Rating: 4)

Petula Clark - Downtown to Sunset Boulevard (Double CD, Hip-O/Universal, Pop)
Although fame ruins almost everyone, there are always a few folks who manage to rise above it and maintain their talent and integrity. Petula Clark certainly fits into the latter category, as throughout her career she has continued to be both credible and entertaining...and she has never gotten sucked into all the trappings that fame brings. A big tip of our floppy ol' hat to the fine folks at Hip-O and Universal for releasing this FANTASTIC collection of some of Ms. Clark's best work. There's a LOT to digest here. Disc One features 24 (!) killer tracks, while Disc Two features another 17. The always enchanting Petula's voice has always sounded superb. And although her biggest success was in the 1960s...Ms. Clark's music is just as relevant and spellbinding today. Songs like "You'd Better Come Home," "I Couldn't Live Without Your Love," "Walk Through the World," and "As If We Never Said Goodbye" have NEVER sounded better. This one will stay in our permanent collection...FOREVER. SUPER DUPER! (Rating: 5)

Claudia Malibu - We'll Find You! (CD, Wormco, Pop)
Smaller means better (at least in the field of music). Massachusetts independent label Wormco has been grabbing our instant attention for years now, simply by putting out quality releases from entertaining (and yet virtually unknown) bands. Claudia Malibu is a totally cool little outfit, and this is their first full-length release. The music is reminiscent of eighties pop, and there is a definite thread of subtle curiosity running through these tunes. And though many of these compositions are actually rather complex, the band plays with such superb skill that they make them sound as simple as pancakes. Intricate guitar lines underscore superb pop vocals...and the lyrics are both intelligent and thought provoking. Destined to be a favorite among the hip underground pop critics, this band has all the right ingredients. WAY cool, yes...and the band's unique sound is deeply rooted in their subtle ideas. See the label's web site at (Rating: 5)

Dragstrip Courage - Echo Rock (CD, Vinyl Ritchie, Pop)
This one's a keeper. It's a funny thing...the more pop bands we hear, the less bands there are that actually affect us. Dragstrip Courage may reveal the reason why this could be... The one element missing in so many pop bands is real emotion. This band's music is affecting without sounding affected. The nice breathy vocals work perfectly...and the tunes are light years more creative than we are used to hearing in pop. Instead of droning rhythms (which are the norm), the band plants plenty of stops and starts into their compositions...and throws all kinds of curves at you that you wouldn't expect. There are certainly some sixties influences happening here...but that's just a diving board into a world where there's a very vibrant and cool pop band just hitting their peak. Crisp, clean, clear, and smart...these three guys hit a HOME RUN with this disc. It's...really...GREAT!!! (Rating: 5)

Eels - Daisies of the Galaxy (CD, Dreamworks, Pop)
This band is a hard one to describe or to compare. One thing is for certain, though... Eels are affecting a lot of folks in a mighty big way...and mainly because the songs are super strong and just slightly different...and they come straight from the heart. Lyrics are usually the weakest link in any pop songwriter's chain...but such is not the case here. Mark Oliver Everett's lyrcs are simple, direct, incredibly insightful...and wonderfully different. We find it incredible that a song titled "It's A Motherf*cker" is actually one of the most beautiful pop songs that we have heard in recent years. It's not's just right on target and very sincere. If there is any one songwriter that we could compare Mr. Everett with, it would have to be the critically overlooked Nilsson...not so much because the vocals and/or songs sound similar...but because both artists' approach to writing a song is the same. Write some thoughtful songs with a definite sense of humor...back them up with fantastic arrangements...then patch them together with dynamite vocals...and there you have it. Virtually perfect pop that is both unique and unforgettable. WOWEE and holy goddamn. This is one HELL of a CD. A must have...! (Rating: 6)

Element 101 - Future Plans Undecided (CD, Tooth & Nail, Pop/rock)
Very fast buzzsaw pop/rock. This New Jersey based band consists of five Italian folks who are one tight, crashing band. The rhythms are static and quirky...the guitars loud and spastic...but layered over the top is a very smooth and sweet-voiced lady named Crissie Verhagen. The overall effect is like listening to punk mixed with girly pop...which is a good way of describing this music. The combination works, as is supported by such tunes as "Between Now and Then," "In My Heart and On My Mind," and "Only In Pictures." This is a young band with a very mature approach to writing tunes, and an inventive way of twisting a tune. Entertaining pop with an edge. (Rating: 4)

Empire State - Empire State (CD, Warm Electronic Recordings, Pop)
Athens, Georgia sure has changed over the years. Initially known for the ever-so-tiring sounds of bands like The B-52s (snore) and R.E.M. (gag and vomit)...the city has come a long, LONG way. Nowadays...instead of being a flourishing empire of dumb dance music and overly sappy jangle pop...the city now boasts a whole slew of superb pop bands. Add Empire State to the list. The band consists of three fellows who have a mature yet somewhat innocent approach to pop production. The recording quality is nop notch, and the songs range from one end of the spectrum to the other. The vocals (and particularly the harmonies) are flawless. While the straightforward stuff is cool enough...we actually like the most peculiar things like "Dog-Faced Boy"...which is a rather unusual progressive (mostly) instrumental piece that is throroughly engrossing. If you're looking for throwaway slop pop, go onto the next band. If you seek both substance AND style...this band will be very much to your liking. Quite intriguing to say the least. See the band's web site at (Rating: 5)

Frankie Machine One - Frankie Machine One (CD, Mammoth, Rock/pop)
Loud guitars and churning rhythms can't drown out the certain melodies in this band's music. The music is catchy, bright, and full of energy. This is relatively mainstream stuff that ought to appeal to a broad range of folks. Easy on the ears as well as the mind. Loud guitar pop/rock for folks in the twenties and thirties... (Not Rated)

Fu Manchu - King of the Road (CD, Mammoth, Rock)
YOWEEE ZOWEEEEEE!!! One of THE TOP most killer rockin' bands of the past several years is back...with possibly their BEST RELEASE EVER! We were on the bandwagon very early, supporting this band way back when they weren't even "hip." So now we can say "nyaa nyah nyah nyah NYAAAAAH nyaaah" (we love saying that) to all the late breakers who are only now realizing the great and mighty strength of this band. Well, no matter. What matters is that the ultimate hippy pothead kings of overdriven guitars are still the reigning kings. And this may just be the band's hardest rockin' disc yet. Tons of adrenaline and macho chops fuel tunes like "Hell On Wheels," "Boogie Van," "Blue Tile Fever," and more. You'd think that by now they'd show signs of wear and tear...but NO NO NO. These guys play with more furious intent than they did early in their career. We can't say enough about how much we LOVE this music. If you like cranking music up REALLY LOUD in your car, truck, or van...NOTHING BEATS THIS STUFF. If you ever loved The Ramones or Black Sabbath and felt as if the "good ol' days" of true guitar rock bands were over...GET THIS!!! These guys please young and old rock fans alike...mainly because they're just playing straight from the pocket...and they're DAMN GOOD. This band is the GENUINE THING...and we LOVE IT TO DEATH!!! It doesn't get much better than this, honest to GOD. AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (Rating: 6)

(Live Performance at the Cotton Club in Atlanta, March 22, 2000)
Man oh MAN!!! We were so stoked when we heard about this show. After all, we've been listening to the music of Fu Manchu for about eight years...blaring it at super high volume while cruising yard sales...and just becoming GREAT BIG goddamn fans. But even though we knew their music like the backs of our hands...we had never actually SEEN our heros in concert. Finally...FINALLY...the band made their way to the always crummy city of Atlanta...playing at one of our TOP FAVORITE CLUBS in the city...the newly relocated Cotton Club (easily one of the top three clubs in the area). The old location was great, but the new location is EVEN BETTER (we highly recommend this club for bands to play at). Arriving at the club,we were surprised to find it only about half full... Hey...where the hell WAS everyone...? Anyway, the size of the crowd didn't matter...because the mighty Fu Manchu royally rocked everyone's balls so hard that we were all shell shocked by the end of the show. The band accurately recreated their recorded sound in concert...but what was interesting was that they actually are a HARDER ROCKING band in concert than on their albums...which is saying A LOT! The crowd was a bizarre smattering of brain dead freaks, young stoner kids, and some rather conservative types. The more we listened and watched the band play, the more puzzled we were. Were they actually nothing more than a SPEED METAL band? No, that wasn't it... Was it...PUNK? No, but there were definite similarities. Was it...HIPPY music? No, not really...there was far too much macho ballpower for this to be hippy crap. Was it...SOUTHERN rock? Certainly not...but there were odd elements of southern and redneck rock that entered into the band's music every so often. Basically, our conclusion was that...we loved Fu Manchu in concert as much...IF NOT MORE...than we already did. And the only conclusion we could come up with as to why they are not more popular is that they do not easily fit into any one category. They are too harsh for the hippy rockers...too tame for the speed metalheads...and too goddamn loud for pop fans. In our little neck of the alley, however, we were just as pleased as punch...and we could not keep still for the entire show. Talk about a TIGHT band. These guys were a blur of speed and intensity. This band is a MUST SEE. No matter what kind of music you're into, we would recommend attending a Fu Manchu concert. Although there are similarities to other bands old and the end, these guys are one of the TRUE ORIGINALS out there. GODDAMN...THIS WAS A KILLER GODDAMN SHOW!!!!!!!!! GODDAMN IT! GODDAMN IT TO HELL!!! (Rating: 6)

Little Red Rocket - It's In The Sound (CD, Monolyth, Pop)
Birmingham, Alabama is becoming quite the musical mecca of late. Add Little Red Rocket to the list of great little bands from this often overlooked southern city. The band's fuzzy pop features nice breathy female harmony vocals and extremely upbeat and catchy tunes. If we didn't know better, we'd swear these folks were from Boston or San Francisco. Southern rock this AIN'T. Fresh upbeat tunes are bursting at the seams on this CD. These compositions tread the fine line between bubblegum and fuzzy alternative rock. Should please fans of Fuzzy and That Dog. Really good stuff! (Rating: 4)

Tara MacLean - Passenger (CD, Capitol, Pop)
All of you way-too-cool underground types who can't deal with slick pop certainly won't dig this. Here in this sometimes open-minded little cabin on the hill, we try to be as open minded as possible...despite outside variables that constantly get in our way. And while we usually don't get into super slick way-over-the-top produced radio pop...when something is good, it's good. And Tara MacLean's music is really good. The lady has a super voice which is both spirited and passionate. In a way, some of her songs almost sound like they have a very slight country influence...but this is basically FM radio pop all the the same vein as Madonna, except much more refined and sincere. This silky haired young lady has a chance of hitting it really big... She's got the looks and the talent necessary to land her in some mighty important places. I'd bet some big bucks are behind this artist, which is usually the kiss of death. But in this case, the support is warranted. Twelve tunes just right for driving in Spring. Well done. (Rating: 4)

Kenneth G. Mills - Promethean Fire (CD, Sun-Scape, Electronic/instrumental)
We've reviewed music by Kenneth G. Mills in the past and loved it. Such is the case again with Mr. Mills' latest CD, Promethean Fire. For those who are not familiar with this fellow, his approach to playing keyboards is very different than normal for one very simple reason. His compositions are spontaneous...and his CDs are recorded (get this...!) with NO OVERDUBS. Yup, you heard it right. In an age where everyone is trying to out-overdub (???) everone else, this fellow is doing the exact opposite. But after hearing his music, you won't believe that this man can actually play all this stuff at once by himself. His compositions sound absolutely full and very, very real. This could be because his main focus is on recreating the sounds of real instruments (could Wendy Carlos be an influence perhaps?). This disc contains seven lengthy pieces that sound very orchestral in nature. Very soothing stuff that should appeal to a wide range of folks. Spectacular. (Rating: 5)

Music Conferences (Really tired old kind of things that attract true scum sort of things)
Would you like to hobnob with the most obnoxious smelly assholes on the planet? If so, then perhaps you should consider attending a music conference. After all, they are now being held in virtually every city in any given month. Why attend? The answer is simple. Instead of communicating through your phone and computer to keep up with all of your idiot friends all over the world, all of you can congregate into one crowded space and then blow farts back and forth to build up your failing egos in person. Now won't that be fun? Plus, you can run around to dozens of depressing smoke-filled ratholes at night and hear all of your favorite bands play within the space of four days. It doesn't matter that your senses will be so overloaded that you won't even appreciate the music...the important thing is that you will be among people WHO REALLY MATTER. Plus...if you're may make an IMPORTANT CONTACT who can help you further your shitty little career in the pathetic world of music. So go ahead...attend a music conference. We are certain that you will fit right in among all the other worthless bloody shitheads who are drawn to the goddamn things... (Rating: 1)

Leona Naess - Comatised (CD, MCA, Soft pop)
Nice soft dreamy female pop music. In a way, Ms. Naess' vocals and songs remind us of Edie Brickell...but her tunes are ultimately much deeper and hold up to many more repeated listens. Her breathy vocals sound absolutely stellar, and her tunes are far from ordinary. She's a young talent with something original to offer...and yet her music is definitely very accessible. Ms. Naess' tunes are based around a gently strumming acoustic guitar...but her vocals make her music transcent mere folk pop. Lyrics are well above average. Thought provoking and just slightly sensual, this collection of songs presents a very mature young artist on her way to the top... Very cool. (Rating: 4)

Nobodys/The Beautys - Hugh (Split CD, Sub City, Punk)
Lots of fun to be had with this particular split CD. Featuring five tunes by the legendary Nobodys and six tunes by The Beautys, this disc is one whopping ball of hyper frenzied excitement. It's a punk rock fest where catchy tunes reign supreme. You won't have time to catch your breath before the end. The songs are very short and direct, in the grand tradition of The Ramones. The folks at Sub City and Hopeless put out stuff at an alarming rate...yet they always manage to ensure that the quality is there. Check out the label's web site at (Rating: 4)

Oregon - Best of the Vanguard Years (CD, Vanguard, Progressive/jazz)
Another exceptional compilation from Vanguard's "best of" series. Oregon was a band that played very nice and smooth organic jazz that had a lot in common with progressive rock bands of the seventies. The band incorporated all kinds of instruments into one big heaping mix that bordered on jazz and, at times, classical music. Not only does this disc contain some of the band's best tracks, but it also includes four previously unreleased tunes. Interestingly...even though this music was recorded decades ago...the recording quality is superb and the playing damn near incredible. In today's market, the band would probably be lumped into the increasingly annoying "world music" category. This is a great introduction to the world of Oregon...recommended for jazz and progressive rock music fans... (Rating: 5)

Parasites - Compost (CD, Go-Kart, Punk/pop)
Parasites have always been punk and pop...but they've never been poppier than on Compost. While the rhythms are still fast and the guitars still loud and crisp, this time around the guys place more of an emphasis on melody...making the songs sound much more like a direct shot in the arm. The approach works is exhibited on tunes like "She's From Salinas," "What A Day, " and "Daydreaming." The band's minimalistic approach to punk/pop is as exciting as it is heartfelt. Because there are so many bands playing the guitar/bass/drum punk/pop thing, it makes it even harder for anyone to come across sounding original and real. These guys do. As usual, if its on the Go-Kart label you KNOW it's a good thing... (Rating: 4)

Poco - The Best of Poco: The Millennium Collection (CD, MCA/Universal, Pop)
Let us start this review by saying that, despite their fame, Poco is a band that we have never been familiar with...other than hearing the name a lot. Strange hearing these tunes, accordingly, because we found so many of them to be very they apparently entered our consciousness through radio airwaves of many years past. So...what have we here? Basic home grown pop music...very laid back...and amazingly, the tunes come across sounding damn sincere (which is rare in the world of commercial music). This disc features several of the band's best known hits for the peak years of their career including "Heart of the Night," "Midnight Rain," "Keep On Trying," and "Rose of Cimarron." Very slick and very Top 40 sounding stuff...but still GOOD, nonetheless... (Rating: 4)

Sloppy Seconds - Garbage Days Regurgitated EP (CD, Nitro, Rock/pop)
The first track on this EP ("I Won't Grow Up") seems to reflect where Sloppy Seconds are at this point in their career. Thank God that some things stay the same (!). Instead of turning soft, becoming commercial, turning to death metal, or giving up...these hard rockin' good ol' boys are still cranking out the exact same kind of punk/pop that made them so damn keen in the first place. The songs are still as simple as Samantha, and they've still got lotsa major guts and catchy melodies. If you never liked the band, you probably won't dig this. If you loved 'em from the start (as we have), then this'll fit right on your sandwich plate. Sure wish it was a full-length, goddamn it! Great stuff...YEAH. (Rating: 5)

Iggy & The Stooges - Double Danger: Academy of Music/Latin Casino-Live 1973 (Double CD, Bomp!, Rock)
This one will be eagerly grabbed up by all those hungry Stooges fans out there...because this two disc set features two entire live Stooges concerts from 1973...when they were at their bloody best. In the seventies, there was no man who was badder than Iggy Pop...and listening to these CDs will reveal the reason(s) why. Iggy had attitude, way too much pent up energy, and some kind of furious animal in his soul that had to be unleased...and apparently rock music was the only venue through which this could be accomplished. Disc One...recorded live in November 1973 at the Latin Casino in Baltimore... The recording quality here is bad to fair...but it doesn't really matter, because the craziness of the concert still manages to shine through clearly. Must've been a wild night that one, and one the folks in attendance will probably never forget. The band played eleven tunes, and then split. Disc Two...recorded live in December 1973 at the Academy of Music in New York... Better sound quality on this disc...not perfect, but tolerable. The band sounds very out of control and chaotic...playing fast and loud... What is probably most intriguing about hearing this music is that one must bear in mind that this was recorded BEFORE the "punk" movement. So it is no wonder that the Ig is pegged as the grandfather of punk. A legend in his own time, Mr. Pop will always be idolized and adored for leaving such a bizarre legacy in his long and sordid past... (Not Rated)

Summer Hymns - Voice Brother and Sister (CD, Misra, Pop)
Very neat and adventurous pop with a twist. Bandleader Zachary Gresham's style of writing is not common, yet not completely uncommon. His songs have an odd familiarity...yet they are certainly original. Add Summer Hymns to the continually growing list of fabulous pop acts in the often miscategorized city of Athens, Georgia. Particularly striking about this band are the vocals...very breathy upper-register male vocals that remind us in many ways of Harpers Bizarre. The lyrics are acute yet obtuse...the arrangements range from subtle and simple to heady and strange. Overall, this is a very likable and unique collection of tunes from a new artist with many new insights to offer... (Rating: 5)

Travis - The Man Who (CD, Epic, Pop)
Travis is big, big, BIG in Great Britain. So...that means they will probably flop in the United States, right? Well...that usually seems to be the case, but only time will tell. This Scottish band's pop is super clean and super smooth all the way...with no rough edges. This band's safe pop is pleasant and entertaining...but they certainly aren't taking any chances whatsoever. Not that one needs to take chances...but taking a few risks can sometimes make music just a bit more exciting we thinks. So...we basically like this, but we're not blown away either... Duh? Duh, duh, duh??? (Rating: 3)

Witness UK - Before the Calm (CD, MCA, Pop)
Nice thoughtful pop music with an introspective touch. This British group sounds very American in their approach to pop music, but unlike many American bands these fellows' music emits a great deal of style and personality. Witness UK is a band that is both accessible and original. The tunes have a slight sad thread running through's always nice when a songwriter admits vulnerability, ain't it? Through the course of these 13 compositions, it is obvious that this is a band with something real to offer. And the vocalist has a nice husky voice that is a refreshing change. Our particular faves are "Second Life," "Heirloom," and "Long First Chapter." Nice stuff. (Rating: 4)

Zine Guide (Issue #3, Magazine)
For anyone who ever lamented the demise of Factsheet Five, please be advised that Zine Guide has quickly filled the void with poise and style. Published by the same folks who do the fabulous music magazine Tail Spins, Zine Guide is an exercise in excessive obsession. That these folks are able to even accomplish what they do is amazing in and of itself. Compiling and publishing the most comprehensive listing of underground publications anywhere in the world is no small task...but these task oriented individuals manage to do the job and do it well. And instead of "reviewing" publications (which always gets folks in trouble), they merely give some indication of what the magazine is about...and leave it up to the reader to decide whether or not they are interested. In addition to the zine listings, there are also some invaluable articles for small this issue's in-depth article entitled "Zine Library Forum." The magazine's address is P.O. Box 5467, Evanston, IL 60204...or you can e-mail 'em at It's a shame that--at least up to this point--there is no on-line version of the magazine, but we can probably understand why. Some other less talented publisher-wannabes would probably just steal the content. Such is the downfall of the Internet...people who can't do...STEAL. Anyway...if you ever even thought you had an interest in underground publications, you need to check out Zine Guide. It is an amazing and intensive read. (Rating: 5)

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