April 2019 Article by

aka

Band discography. Listen/stream on Bandcamp, CDBaby, & Spotify

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How To Find Happiness

All people have something in common. Do you know what that something is? It is very basic and simple. Everyone wants to be happy. And yet that seems odd because very few people ever seem to be truly happy in their lives. Are we all somehow predestined to be anxious and depressed? Or are we all just misplaced souls wandering along aimlessly in the universe without a clue? Possibly but...it could just be that the average person doesn't know who they really are and what they really want in life.

FINDING WHO YOU IS

In order to be happy, the first thing one must know is who one is. Do you know who you is? Have you ever thought about whatever it is that makes you who you is? There is a lot of people in every one of us. So many people that it makes almost everyone confused because of all the confusion involved. Find a mirror. Look into the mirror and observe yourself very closely. You don't like what you see, and there's a reason for that. Buried deep inside each of our souls is the innate grief and despair that result from the realization that we are all frighteningly similar to one another.

Study your eyes as you gaze at your image. The reason your pupils are black is because there is nothing there. We all want to feel as if we are uniquely deep and complex. But in reality, we are very simple and generic and there is very little going on inside our minds. It is necessary to understand this most basic concept in order to move forward. So keep staring into the mirror until you get it. If you don't get it at first, try again in an hour or so. If you still don't get it, you may need to generate appropriate punishment in order to achieve the desired outcome.

APPROPRIATE PUNISHMENT

People don't learn unless they are punished. This is a basic rule of humanity that has existed for millions of years. When the very first apes began to evolve thousands of years ago, they found that the only way they could become smarter and live longer was by subjecting themselves to punishment. This is how the first form of intelligence was created out of nowhere. The story goes like this. One day a large ape took a great big stick and smashed it into his head. He fainted, but as he regained consciousness he noticed that he was somehow more...in touch. So he hit himself again, only this time much harder. His eyes began to shine with the knowledge of knowing more. So he kept hitting himself in the head until his life started to improve. It wasn't long before others followed in his footsteps. This is now known as the beginning of civilization.

If you fail to see what you should see when you look in a mirror, you can do the same thing that the earliest human monkeys did long ago. Take a large object and hit yourself over the head. Don't worry if it doesn't work at first, it may take several attempts. But if you keep the process going long enough, you will eventually gain all of the knowledge you were always meant to gain. There are other forms of punishment that can also be beneficial. Some people find that they can move forward by breaking their arms or legs. Others find that removing their own teeth without anesthesia can provide the stimulus that is needed.

AN IMAGE OF REALITY FORMS

Now that you can see yourself as you really are, an image begins to form in your mind. When you see yourself, you see a human being that is lost and alone in the universe. What you are looking at is a pathetic creature who thinks it knows so much and yet...in reality it knows almost nothing. Your ability to focus on your depressing existence helps in achieving happiness. In order to know joy you must first know pain and suffering. All things come from other things. And there is nothing that cannot be done without first finding a way of understanding what can and cannot happen.

Do you like things to happen? Or would you rather nothing happen, ever? Are you the kind of person who looks at what things can be? Or are you the kind of person who looks at what is wrong with everything and everyone?

WHAT HAPPY IS

In order to find happy, you must first know what happy is. What you may not realize is that happy is already all around you all the time. From the moment you were born, there were rings upon rings of large happy surrounding your body. But because they were invisible, you had no idea they were there. And all you could do was be miserable and beg for milk. You did not realize it at the time, but you were the main reason why your parents became unhappy. Before you were born, your mother and father lived in wonderful bliss. But then you came along and everything changed. When you were only a few months old, you finally began to realize how miserable you made your parents. The guilt that was associated with this realization made you begin to despise yourself. As months passed by, you began to feel as if you were the cause of all the world's problems. And, in a way, you were. Your birth not only messed up your parents' lives, but also the lives of millions of other people all around the globe. And yet all the while happy was right there around you, clustered in invisible rings.

MEANINGFUL RINGS

Them rings is weird things. They can be big rings or small rings, but they're always rings. And for most people, they remain completely invisible. To be able to locate specific happy, you need to make the rings visible. This may sound impossible, but the truth is that it is extremely simple. You know what rain is, right? Rain is little drops of water that fall from the clouds and make things wet. The next time it rains, go outside. Start turning in circles as you look up to the sky. Slowly begin spinning faster and faster as you extend your arms to maintain balance. You will soon begin to feel sick from spinning around so fast. It is at this point that you will open your mouth and allow partially digested food to be expelled. As the food travels through the air, specific particles will attach themselves to the rings. In less than two hours, you will be able to see the amazing rings very clearly in a slightly altered state.

IDENTIFICATION

Each of the rings you see is defined as one individual type of happy. A large blue ring means that happy is obtained through candy and metal objects. A thin yellow ring means that happy is generated by making others unhappy. A medium-sized purple ring means that happy is only there for about twenty seconds and then it is gone forever. A fat orange ring means that happy is eating way too much food all the time and then feeling angry because you are grossly overweight. A bumpy clear ring is a bunch of stuff that always gets in the way of everything for no apparent reason. And a thick crimson red ring points to the fact that happy can only truly be achieved through genuine stupidity. And it is this very last ring that means the most. In order to achieve happy, stupid must come first.

EASY STUPID

It may seem as if becoming stupid would be very difficult. But it is actually very, very easy. Most people are born with stupid, but they don't know how to nurture it. Others have stupid weaved all through themselves but they don't know how to tap into it. If you observe other people, you will immediately notice that they are all very stupid. You may ask yourself, "If that is the case, then why aren't all these people happy?"

That is a very good question and one that cannot easily be answered in several difficult ways. The stupid inside the average person is not just helpful stupid that creates happy. The basic stupid is untapped, and that makes it virtually worthless. A person can have wads and wads of basic stupid. But if that stupid is never modified or regulated, it will only make them more and more pathetic over time.

HOW TO MODIFY STUPID

You may not realize it, but there is no way to make yourself less stupid. You can try for years and years by reading and learning all kinds of things. But in the end, you will still be extremely dumb. But don't feel depressed or sad, because--as usual--there are lots of ways of dealing with this. When you drive, you modify the speed of your vehicle. When you eat, you modify the food by chewing it and digesting it. When you walk, you modify where you are by using your legs to transport you from one place to another. If you can do all of these things, is there anything you can't do? If you can't answer this basic question, you may want to go back and restart.

Whenever you get lost in the process, no matter whether it is sooner or later, always remember that the most basic thing you can do is stare at yourself in a mirror and do what the ancient apes did with a large stick. This will always bring you back home, which is where you need to be in order to move forward. You need to move forward in order to be happy. So no matter how many times it takes, you will always need to go back home and restart all over again. It is only by repeating this process that you can begin to remove yourself from the cycle you are in.

CYCLES BRING ABOUT CHANGE

When you repeat things, you become smart stupid. Smart stupid is defined as stupidity that is worse than regular stupidity. It can be refined or homogeneous, but it is always smart. When you feel stupid, you have the potential to become smart. And when you become smart, you automatically become stupid. It's the same as planets revolving around the sun. Gravity keeps the planets in place. Accordingly, smart stupid keeps you in the pasture with all the other smart stupid people. But what about happy? Hasn't it somehow gotten lost somewhere along the way?

LOST HAPPY

Happy does get lost most of the time. It gets lost inside cans and passageways and it can even get lost in hampers and mouse holes. You've got to find that happy. Slap your horsey on it's backside with a cobblestone and gallop toward the thing you want. That crimson red ring gets brighter when you go faster on your horse. Ride 'em cowboy. Ride 'em like the wind ain't got nothin' to perpetuate. When you get off your horse, you may notice that your paws are distorted. But don't despair. Distorted paws are a sign that pure happiness is now within your reach. The distortion may get cleared away from time to time, but that ain't no big deal. Just put on your big cowboy hat and jump right up on that horsey thing again...because happiness may just be right around the corner.

WHY RING RED

The critical ring is red because it was created by your very own blood. When you bleed, you create happiness. So in order to become happy or to make others happy, you must be able to bleed freely. Now some of you may ask, "Do you really think I'm dumb enough to bleed all over the place so that I can see a bloody red ring that doesn't really exist in the first place?" The answer may be yes or no. You might not ever be smart enough to know the limits of your stupidity. And you may not ever be stupid enough to know the noticeable limits of invisible rings that you can only see when they are covered with partially digested food. Do you want to spin around in the rain again? Sure you do. When you spin around, you feel sick. And when you feel sick, you know what it is like to feel well. Feeling bad is the same as feeling wonderful. It all depends on your point of view.

YOU CAN BELIEVE IT

Those stupid enough to believe in crappy things will find solace in the fact that there will always be plenty of usable material. Think about plants and animals. Think about technology. Think about history and everything that has happened. Think about all of the religions all over the world. Think about hats and topical ointments. Think about tar and aluminum. Think about wax and taxi parts. And then start thinking about belief. A strong belief in one thing leads to even stronger beliefs in other things. When you believe, your soul gets smarter and smaller. And if you believe long enough and hard enough, your soul will eventually disappear altogether and you won't even exist no more.

THINGS ARE AS THEY HAVE ALWAYS BEEN

Right about now you may be feeling angry or that you have been manipulated in some way or another. You may be saying to yourself, "I am such a retard. All this time I've been hurting myself and doing all kinds of crazy things because I was foolish enough to believe that these things would make me happy!" But calm down, that is certainly not the case. Nothing could be further from the truth. You are now as you have always been.

Open your mind as the happy envelops you with waves of warm mellow. Allow it to combine and react with other things that are evolving inside of you. You don't never need to read no more now because you already got what you is. All you needed was to have some directions to follow and the ability to combine important things and follow instructions. In the end, the process has sent you right back to where you always was. And the achievement is now so resilient and precise...that it will follow you around blindly for the rest of your remaining mortal life.

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Additional Items Received:

A
Academics for Pure Boredom - Slurps
Additional Items Composed - Reversal of radishes
Additional Items Reversed - Back to the additional items
Adele - My frisky rat puppy done ate my head off
Alice Copper - Lob it to Seth
Allman Brothers - Aunt Sissy's lather bastard
Am Not - Am too
Anohni - Hopelessness
Anthroplod - Plodroanth
Antlers for Booboo - Oh no not that tired old runt again
Ape - Don't say no words
Apples Got Smushy - Train smush
Application For Crap - Please submit crap
Athens Is Not A City - Trauma for the bush animals
August Wish - Traps for punted
Augusta Is Not A City - Wilma for the plush panels

B
Bad Bump - Banana tread
Badfigure - Crooked down
Bambi Dambi - Lambi
Ballerina Pumps - Blackass
Barge - Limpy
Beadulls - Desmocker
Beatles - Medium
Beatles - Medium rare
Beatles - Rare
Beatles - Not as rare
Beatles - Stuff that was never recorded
Beatles - Stuff that we wish had never been recorded
Bee Numb - Numb bee
Beyonce - Sorry excuse
Beyonce - I can dance even if I can't do anything else very well
Beyonce - If all you want is an ugly body and face, I've got both
Beyonce - Don't you get tired of hearing my stupid name all the time
Beyonce - I'm really a boring old hag who looks terrible without thick layers of make-up
Beyonce - I'm living proof that people have poor taste
Beyond the Beyonder - Blander and blander
Bjork - Jorky B
Black Tabitha - Pastor of senility
Blankets for Blankets - Laps
Blender in a Blinder - Fizzle
Bobo's Pretty Duster - Lamp off, lamp on
Davis Bowee - All the dumb dudes
Breezer the Flew - Like dazzlers in fume
Garth Brooks - I've recorded tons and tons and TONS of music
Garth Brooks - And yet you babysue folks have never reviewed ANYTHING
Garth Brooks - What is wong with you goddamn undergroud music snobs?
Garth Brooks - I'm rich, rich, RICH
Garth Brooks - If you've got lots of money, nobody cares if your voice is shitty
Garth Brooks - I'm old and fat now
Garth Brooks - But people still love me, even though my music is crap
Bumps Fifty - West
Jenna Bush - Why does my face resemble the rectum of a pig?
Jenna Bush - Trying way too hard to be clever and cute, but I will always be unbearably annoying
Butler Pudding - Lippity gris gris
Buzz's Lamp Cord - Tawny frink

C
Car Mump - Dazed and refused
Casket of Corformity - Laser dog
Cast of Cast - Lastly
Cat Grave - Mickey's laboratory
Cesula - Maid in martians
Chance The Rapper - Coloring book
Chicky Chicky Clock - Rump of the month slob
Chump - Malaria
Chunks of Paisley Pumps - Lordy the snore is a plaza burn
Eric Clapton - I still don't know what a guitar is
Phil Collins - No vocal skills required
Sean Combs - How come I never get reviewed in babysue?
Sean Combs - You don't like me just because I'm arrogant and obnoxious, I get it
Sean Combs - Hey, I make a lot of money you underground jerks
Sean Combs - I'm rich, rich, RICH...ain't that what it's all about?
Sean Combs - Lookin' ugly every day o' my life
Come To Lulu's Nurse - Romp and the bumpy tum tum
Confederate Railroad - Happy to snort crystal speed
Conscious Or Not - Grumpy lazy
Crap You Like - Tape measure
Crosby, Stills & Nash - We were friends once upon a time
Crunchy Links - Switches and prawns
Miley Cyrus - How come I never get mentioned in babysue?
Miley Cyrus - I guess it's because nothing I do has any substance
Miley Cyrus - I like lots of attention
Miley Cyrus - I wish I wasn't dull and boring
Miley Cyrus - I am so ugly
Miley Cyrus - Anything for attention
Czerchnkii - Dim

D
Dadfinger - Where's dad's finger when you need it?
Dae Dae - Mae Mae
Daisy Days - Freezing
Damn People - Damn People
Damn Tumblers - Damn Tumblers
Damn Warp - Damn Warp
Damn Zoo - Damn Zoo
Devonte - I'm fish food now
Diets Are For Dimwits - Lassie's lost pudding cup
Dimmer than Dim - Inputs
Diorssi - New York is my damn
Dirty Pennies - Flocks and pimps
Doves That Die Today - Lassie
Driplite Dirtbag - Directional
Dry Potato - Sync
Ducks for Ducks - Nine hundred ponies
Dumb Sounds - Like Nanny and the poodle

E
Each and Each - Teach
Eachy - Preachy
Eat The Bounty Feathers - Naptime
Ectonerf - Bah baddah bah
Elephant Muff - Beneath the blurry knob
Elves and Bumpy Thumpers - Original motion picture soundtrack
Emergency Flakes - Phasers
Empty - Flow
Empty Flower - 1 2 3 4
Enough for Five Thousand - One bottle
Enter the Entrance With Lockets - Glasses on the puddle
Eventually We'll All Die With Nothing - Pom poms
Everyone But - But Everyone
Ewe - Ranch funk
EZ - Not so

F
FA - La la
Famous Famous - Converter
Far Out Far In - Farin
Faxes Forever - Limp little pixies
Ferz - Lizzy
Fifty Million - Zero lads
Finks Forever - Live at the dead
Five Times Fifty-Five - Live
Four Times Four Is Four - Five times
Foxes - All I need
Fume - Lumps
Funky Laminate - Parking
Fur For Francis - Pouches

G
Gang of Flower - Untertainment
Gas Pumps - Last primper
Gauge Rage - Now cow
Germany's Burp - Lamp drill
Get Your Begging Done - Tower bitch
Vince Gill - Down to my last bad habit
Goddamn Children - Goddamn us all to hell
Graham Slackers - Naturally grabby
Ariana Grande - My fame proves that people are retarded schmucks
Grandmothers and Grandfathers - Nothing else to live for except the goddamn grandchildren
Grass Patches - Dolby
Josh Groban - Sitting on a toilet for charity

H
Hamster on a Bun - Heartache on a bun
Hamster on a Lettuce Leaf - Try to find something to stuff in your cheeks
Jennifer and Sarah Hart - Where did our love go
Jennifer and Sarah Hart - We loved Jesus very much
Jennifer and Sarah Hart - Happy together forever because we died together
Hay - Hay
Hazle - Measurements
Hell for Humans - Happiness is a dumb puppy
Help Me Help Me - Liver
Help the Hopeless - Bloody hearts get you nowhere
Hissy - Laserbon
Hitt - Dawn for the loud birds
Hizzers - Stuck
Ian Hunted - Punts and nuttters
Husperate - ADN
Hut for Henry - Universe of sandy
Huzzle - Earlier albums

I
Ian - Jackknife
Icky - Picky, picky, picky
If It Dies Don't Touch It - I offered more than they wanted and they took it
If You Knew Nothing You Would Be Nothing - Drips
Inky Doll - Dampness and dryness
In The End The Beginning - Ridgefield
It Stays Warm - Square butter
IX Lamb Sweater - To each his each
IZZ - Each his to his

J
Alan Jackson - Now that I'm a girl
Alan Jackson - Now that I'm half a girl
Alan Jackson - My eyeliner is all messed up
Michael Jackson - Off the floor
Michael Jackson - Towers of mops
Michael Jackson - Nosey dopes
Jerry's Apple - Towers
Jerry's Crud - Narry a buster
Jersey is Swervy - Translustre
Jethro Toil - Sick as a tick
Jethro Wump - Aquatong
Jethro Zoo - Minstrel in the snake exhibit
Elton John - Where did my voice go?
Jones Is A Donkey - Drammamine
Jones Is An Elephant - Mine ain't mine
Judas Priest - Battle cry
Junk Is Just Junk - Lady trunk

K
Kaas - Lacey
Kalesh - Kaos
Kandy and the Ks - Lassie's drool
Kows - Land of the Kows
Kraftlunch - Radio lunch
Kraftdinner - Electric dinner
Kraftsnack - Trans euro snack
Krap - Krap
Krazy Cow - Lots of tips
Krunchy Krunch - Captain's caps and tons
Kudzu's Lamp - Drastic
Kunks - The Late Glossy Kunks Album
KWKWERA - Lists

L
Lab Crutch - Tramps that David hates
Ladies For Pretzels - Louder than the other thing that we had discussed earlier
Lady Gaga - How come I never get mentioned in babysue?
Lady Gaga - If I look really strange, nothing else matters
Lady Gaga - Anything for fame
Lady Gaga - Anything for money
Lamb Peppers - Smuppy
Lamps for the Homeless - These goddamn things don't work
Cindi Lauper - Elderly grandmothers with bad hair colors
Laxative Preamble - Naps and snappers
Let There Be Let - Now there be meow
Lisa Said - First time, long time
Lists - Stop the Lists
Loretta Lynn - Sings her favorite Nine Inch Nails songs
Loud and Loud - Dull and dull
Lumineers - Cleopatra
Lumps - Lousy mouses
Lung Disease - Trowel

M
Manners and Nanners - Tablets for pokey
Maroon 5 - Music for shitheads
Maroon 5 - Stupid people love our music
Maroon 5 - Our lead singer is one ugly old homo
Trayvon Martin - Skittuzz fo evuhbuddeh
Trayvon Martin - Juss a boy on his way to duh candee sto
Masta Ace - The falling season
Matchbox - Going down there
Math for Math's Sake - Plazas
Maze Lops - Trazzler
Mazer's Big Torch Bucket - Lipsy
Bruce McArthur - People in pots
Bruce McArthur - Landscape architect blues
Bruce McArthur - Big 'n' playful
Paul McCartney - Nursing home blues
Tim McGraw - Do anything for charity
Tim McGraw - Do anything to make money
Tim McGraw - Do anything
Millie's Pork Bucket - Boxes won't go away
Money for Puny People - Lucky drop
Monkey Chuck - Arlene
Monkey Davis - Nervous
Monkey Pauline - Damnable
Moo Moo the Bow Wow - Trouser's ain't fresh no more
Motorhead - Clean your clock
Motorbutt - Clock your cleaners
Mrowl - Prowling for mrowl
Murphy and Nop - Dammy and slop
Murphy and Nuns - Drippy nun bitches
Murphy's Paw - Plaid and dumb
My Evening Girdle - Snippets and drabble
My Evening Snot - Things my animals forget to learn

N
David Nail - Fighter
Nasal and Tonsil - Lasers and urchers
Ned and the Headrumpers - Trowels
Aaron Neville - Apache
Newsboys - God's not dead
New York Dolls - We weren't real dolls
New York Dolls - We were real dolls
New York Dolls - We were really from Portland
No More Blouses - Farmy
No More Bundt Cakes - Prowler
No More Cactus - Deal or no no
Nothing That You Haven't Heard Before - Repeat it
Now Cows - Blouses and thermometers
Numb's Fumbler - Town and mouth

O
Octorub - Norbie
Oh No That Old Shithead Is Here Again - Rotten old schmucks with no manners
Oooh - Uuuuuh
Oooh Oooh - Uuuuuh uhhh
Opposite of Opposite - Lopposite
Orange Floyd - Sharp glide of the goon
The Orb - It's 1963 and the stripes are grinding
The Orb - Big fluffy omelets
Osmosis - USB #7
Other Muzzles - Howdy Pops
Oz and the Schnoz - Pow wows and monkeys

P
Painted Fuss - Nope
Pants and Pantless - Rainy press
Part Blub - Fran is ugly
Dolly Parton - Lots of money makes me happy
Dolly Parton - Lots of attention makes me happy
Dolly Parton - Lots of everything makes me happy
Paws With Fingers - Ink bus
Pet Shop Boys - Super
Poodle Powder - Dust of the dawgie
Mike Posner - At night, alone
Pranks for Steak Loads - Heaps of slop
The Puddles - Nappy load
Punk Biscuits - Sap
Punk Noodles - Take this noodle and cook it
Puny - Runny infection
Pusfergradison - Nay, the basket sayeth

Q
Quacks - Trippy truck
Quails and Trucks - Lamb power
Queen For A Tray - Lower the pork
Query - Stop the questions
Quest for Dope - Smoking snuff
Quails Got Drunk - Beer and tissue paper
Quarternelson - A trotter in snuffer's cloning
Quicker Than Daffy - Cords that don't work
Quiet Little Worm Thing - Never thought about it and never want to now
Quiz Germs - Links that don't work
Quurtie - Lousy bench

R
Radiodud - Half of the basic shop
Radishes - Lavish stickers
Debbie Rafter - Lemme after
Raws - Raws and raws
Reel to Raoul - Mouthpiece
Reform Club - Never yesterday
Rely On Relish - Candy dash
Mick Rhodes & The Hard Eight - Paradise city
Roasted Trap - Asia's not there anymore
Rolling Bones - Get your mama's kraut
Rolling Chunks - Flower pots
Rolling Dammits - Sure thing not sure
Rolling Elderly People - Stocky plungers
Rolling Joints - Finky stinkers
Rolling Monkeys - Monkeys on Main Street
Rumpy - USBs and RTDs
Runny - Tippy's revenge
Rush - Beneath, between and behind
Ruzzer - Bow to the Ruzzer
Rylo - The dog's head is not steady anymore

S
Larry Samual - Barney doesn't have hugs for me
Santa Died Last Night - Presenting...
Santa Did It - Lamenting
Ed Sheeran - How come I never get mentioned in babysue?
Ed Sheeran - It's because my music is crummy, isn't it?
Ed Sheeran - Why do I look and sound so crummy?
Ed Sheeran - Are there any questions that have answers?
Blake Shelton - Can't help it if I'm a boring dullard
Blake Shelton - If you're into what I do you're obviously on the wrong web site
Blake Shelton - If people think I'm handsome they must really be confused and retarded
Shotgun Louise - Rampy dim
Shotgun Tina - Lousy lamps
Shotgun Zappa - Mouses and mouses
Smashing Drumsticks - Pass the pepper
Smuppy - The tatters that ground pepper
Sparse - Kim's Ono spy mouse
Bruce Springsteen - The Crazy Boss
Bruce Springsteen - I'm a generic old woman now
Bruce Springsteen - Shallow songs that everyone can buy
Barbra Streisand - Barfing up my breakfast
Styx - Suite madame blue: Radio broadcast 1977
Sultans of Swing - Subcontinental drift
Swap and Change - Loudness weird
Swenter - Flowers
Taylor Swift - How come I never get reviewed in babysue?
Taylor Swift - Well, if your publicist would send something...you might.
Taylor Swift - Really?
Taylor Swift - Sure
Swy - Rent

T
Tai Tai - Lists
Talking Sheds - Lambs forking up tonsils
Tea For Lunch - Massachusetts isn't a country
Teepee Tupperware - Laura's butter pand
Telltale - Taller toll
Thuds - Ready for emperors
Thunder - All you can eat
Justin Timberlake - Can't stop being shallow
Tonk - Thoughtly
Trilly Dills and Damp Dippers - Witch white
Trunk Idiots - Laugh when it's all over
Try To Try - Stop and try
Tummy Bus - Lambs and prawns
Tunker - Lassie's paw
TZ397 - Rowl the smunk

U
Ugly Banana - How do the hussy wink
Ugly Orange - Do the mouse
Ultraplucks - Eyebrow mania
Umbrella Vision - Church of tassle
Uncle Duck - Mushed
Uncle Pregnant - Does and rodents
Carrie Underwood - I'm proof that people have horrible taste
Carrie Underwood - Making money is more important than making good music
Carrie Underwood - Cliff diving lesbians
Keith Urban - More pork from my smelly pig face

V
Various Artists - A collection of dull dribble that no one will ever notice
Various Artists - We stopped makin' em because they stopped buyin' em
Various Artists - No one buys these kinds of compilations anymore so that's why we keep producing 'em
Various Artists - Tribute to someone whose name we can't remember
Various Artists - Trying to get something heard never works
Various Artists - The most boring bands you never cared to hear
Various Artists - We're the last ones to know the last ones
Various Artists - Our albums are always the first to get thrown away
Various artists - Who gets to eat the trash

W
Wally Is Near - Stamp that thing goodbye
Wanda and the Wandas - Limp
We Don't Get It - Now is the now
Well I Guess This Is Just Another One - Lumps
Whether Or Not - Lousy weather
Why Can't We Eat It In The Car - Marbly
William XIII - XIII or 238
Wind That Goes - Don't
Oprah Winfrey - I have the shittiest taste in the world but people buy what I tell them to anyway
Oprah Winfrey - What the hell am I doing in this list when I'm not even a goddamn musician?
Oprah Winfrey - I'll never give you any support you rotten babysue people, you're horrible and mean
Oprah Winfrey - one day I'll be president and then we'll know how truly retarded most folks are in the twenty-first century

X
X - The day we tied our shoes wrong
Xie - La la the distance away
X-ray Pecs - Lookie away
X-ray Stats - Box cutters and tramplers
Xzistance - Lift down

Y
Yack Yack - Tacky tick
Yell All The Time For Whatever You Pay For It - Taxi service
Yellow Floyd - Park wide until noon
Yesterday's Potties - Damp portions
Yes We Will Be Bananas - Trap doors
Yes You - You guessed it
You might - Yes you might
You never - Well I never
Young and Bland - Stick, stuck
Yoyos for Panama - Sharp
Yoyos for Zop - Trollo mia presto
Yuck This Tastes Awful - Don't eat it then

Z
Zappa and the Zappettes - Trown
Frank Zappa - How flowers got in the potty train
Frank Zappa - Lukewarm mouses
Zi - See Zi play
Zunk - How the leaves got patchy
Zupper - Towels for Blanche
Zyle - Twelve and fifty

©2019 LMNOP (aka dONW7)