Poetry (1997 - 2006)
by LMNOP aka dONW7

 

HUMPY DUMPY

Humpy Dumpy
Had a big
Dump.

Humpy Dumpy
Snorted a
Lump.

(November 2006)

 

ROCK AND ROLL IS FOR ASSHOLES

Who loves rock and roll?
Assholes do,
That's who.

Assholes just love to
Rock and roll.

(November 2006)

 

WHY JESUS CAN'T LOVE ALL THE LITTLE CHILDREN OF THE WORLD ANYMORE

If Jesus loved
All the little children
Of the world in the
Twenty-first century
He would be
Thrown in
Prison.

(November 2006)

 

CHATTANOOGA CUCKOO

Pardon me boys,
Is that the Chattanooga
Cuckoo?

(November 2006)

 

INFERIORACES

All races are
Inferior.

(November 2006)

 

DARK FREEDOM

If you love something
Make it stop
Breathing.

(November 2006)

 

METHODOLOGY

Meth solves problems.

Meth makes things
Better.

(November 2006)

 

NEKKID HELL

Those who choose
To be nude
Will go straight to
Goddamn hell.

(November 2006)

 

JACK AND BITCH

Jack and Bitch
Fell in the ditch and
Drank the muddy water.
Bitch fell down
And tore her gown
So Jack reached in and
Molested her.

(November 2006)

 

GIANT QUESTION

Fee-fie-foe-fum.
Why is everyone so
Dumb?

(November 2006)

 

ASSHOLES VOTE

What do assholes do?

Assholes vote.

(November 2006)

 

GREEDY & SELF-CENTERED

We turned cold on you
Because we determined
That you are greedy and
Self-centered.

(November 2006)

 

YUCKY

The world is yucky.
Sad but true.
The world is yucky
Because of you.

(November 2006)

 

SHAKESPOOR

How many ways
Do I goddamn thee?
Let me count
The goddamn
Ways.

(October 2006)

 

BASTARD DADDY

My father was a rotten
Bastard.
A mean, cold, rotten
Bastard.

(October 2006)

 

VICTIMIZATION

Symptoms aren't victims.
Blimps aren't victims.
Owls aren't victims and
Kittens aren't symptoms.

(October 2006)

 

ZACH WIMP

Zach is just a dumb
Wimp.
Zach has always been a dumb
Wimp.

Only the dumbest of the dumb
Would ever vote for
The biggest retard
In Tennessee...

Zach Wimp.

(October 2006)

 

SONNY PERDUE

Sonny Perdue
Is a fat old chicken woman.
Sonny Perdue
Sasses his fat ass around
Like a queen.

Sonny Perdue
Won't do it for you.

His asshole resembles
A vagina.

(October 2006)

 

MR. T

Goddamn you.
Goddamn me.
Goddamn everyone
Except Mr. T.

(October 2006)

 

CHEATERS

We cheated our way
Though school.

You should too.

(October 2006)

 

COUNTRY PEOPLE

Country people
Aren't any better
Than city people.

(October 2006)

 

SUCK FROM THE RICH

We moved back to a
Cool, hipster neighborhood
So that we can
Suck from the
Rich.

(October 2006)

 

BIRDIE HIGH

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow...
Why oh why
Get high?

(October 2006)

 

DUMMIES

Alcohol is for dummies.
Marijuana is for dummies.
Religion is for dummies.
Everything is for
Dummies.

(October 2006)

 

STOOL SAMPLE

Here is a sample
Of our finest wooden bar
Stool.

(October 2006)

 

RETURN TO CIVILIZATION

We moved away
From civilization
Thinking that it would be best.

But now we return
To civilization
To do what we do best.

(October 2006)

 

TRASHY BABY

She had a trashy baby
So she threw it in
The trash.
She had a trashy baby
Then she smoked a bit of
Hash.

(October 2006)

 

POST PUNK

Another trite
Descriptive term
That doesn't mean
Anything.

(September 2006)

 

OFFICE MEAT

They are looking
At our office suite
As if it were
A piece of meat.

It is a goddamn
Piece of meat.

Get us the hell
Out of this
Goddamn place.

(September 2006)

 

NEAR IN

That is not
Far out.
It is
Near in.

(September 2006)

 

WHERE TODAY, GONE TOMORROW

Not only do we not know
Where we will be tomorrow
We have absolutely
No idea of where we are
Today.

(September 2006)

 

DESPERATE OLD LADIES

Desperate old ladies
Chasing desperate old men
Who kick them
In the heads
Over and over
Again.

(September 2006)

 

CRUMMY MUSIC

Your music
Is crummy
And so are
You.

(September 2006)

 

GOODBYE FARM

Goodbye hills,
Goodbye farm.
Goodbye lawnmowers,
Goodbye harm.

(September 2006)

 

TENNESSEE MEN

Now that we are
Tennessee Men...
That's what we always
Should have been.

(September 2006)

 

UNIQUE LIE

We are told
From the start
That we are
Unique.

The unique lie
Is uniquely
A lie.

(September 2006)

 

POWERLESS

Power to
The people who
Don't have any
Power.

(September 2006)

 

JONBENET'S UNDERWEAR

What was really inside
JonBenet's underwear?

(September 2006)

 

SOUL CONTROL

Let the will of
Others control your
Mind, body, and
Soul.

(August 2006)

 

MILITARY DUTY

Your duty is to
Get out and
Stay out.

(August 2006)

 

COMPLEXITIES

The complexities
Of the world are
Grating and
Stupid.

(August 2006)

 

NO SPICE

If variety
Is the spice of life,
Let's get rid of the
Isle with spices.

(August 2006)

 

CRAWLING APPRECIATION

Thank you for crawling.
Thank you for crawling.
Thank you for crawling.

(August 2006)

 

LESBIAN CITIES

Lesbians in Red Bank,
Lesbians in Decatur.

(August 2006)

 

WORTHLESS LEADERS

All leaders are
Worthless leaders.

(August 2006)

 

FOLLOWERS

Look at all
The mindless followers.
Following, following
The road to
Nowhere.

(August 2006)

 

PHYSICAL CHANGE

You'll never notice
How much I've changed
Because you can't
See me.

(August 2006)

 

PASSIONOTHING

If you can't be passionate
About something
You could at least
Be passionate about
Nothing.

(August 2006)

 

WILL DO WON'T DO

Americans
Will do the jobs
That Americans
Won't do.

(June 2006)

 

TRUCK

I started a truck
That started the whole world
Trucking...
Only I couldn't see
That the truck was on
Me.

(June 2006)

 

ALL WE ARE SAYING

All we are saying
Is give pizza a chance.
All we are saying
Is give sedatives a chance.
All we are saying
Is give serial murderers a chance.
All we are saying
Is give rabid raccoons with obvious mental disorders a chance.
All we are saying
Is give bloody two-headed abortions dying on the doormat a chance.

(June 2006)

 

TIME IS RUNNING

Take care of business quickly because
Time is running.
Drive just as fast as you can because
Time is running.
Do everything as fast as you possibly can
Because time is running out.

(June 2006)

 

HOLES

Your nose
Has holes.
Your ears
Have holes.
Your ass and urethra
Have holes.
And your mouth
Is just a
Hole.

(June 2006)

 

DECADES

In the sixties
Ugly hippies
Struggled for change.

In the seventies
Homosexual celebrities
Came out of their closets.

In the eighties
Women with babies
Declared their equality.

In the nineties
Men sniffed their hineys
And lined their pockets with money.

In the twenty-first century
It's all a big mystery
Because no one
Is doing anything
Anymore.

(June 2006)

 

CATCH A MOUSE

Patty had a
Problem with her
Pussy.
It couldn't catch a
Mouse.

(June 2006)

 

AMERICAN DULLARD

Who will be
The new
American
Dullard?

(June 2006)

 

NERVOUS

In the future
Everyone will be
Nervous
For fifteen minutes.

(June 2006)

 

SCHOOLS

All schools breed
Intolerance and
Hatred.

(June 2006)

 

FORWARD BACKWARD

People used to be
Forward thinkers.
Now people are
Backward wishers.

(June 2006)

 

MUSICAL

Music makes people
Smug and
Irritating.

(June 2006)

 

GREEK VACATION PROPAGANDA

All we are saying
Is give Greece
A chance.

(June 2006)

 

BIRD FLU

Which way did the
Bird flu?

It just flu
Away.

(June 2006)

 

CHOOSY MOTHERS

Choosy mothers
Choose
Toothless gerbils.

(May 2006)

 

FREEDOM

Say goodbye
To freedom.
We never had it
Anyway.
We have lost our
Freedom in the name
Of freedom.

(May 2006)

 

REALLY NOT

Your job is not real.
Your family is not real.
Your thoughts are not real.
Everything in your world is
Fake.

(May 2006)

 

PHONY PONY

Ride your Phony Pony
'Til there's nothing left to do.
Ride your Phony Pony
'Til you're all dried up and
Blue.

(May 2006)

 

GREY DOCTOR

An apple a day
Makes the doctor
Turn grey.

(May 2006)

 

ACTING

Act like you care.
Act like you are interested.
Act like you are listening.
Act like you should
Act.

(May 2006)

 

PARROT PARENTS

They had a tiny bird
But were never taught
How to raise it.

Parrots make
Rotten parents.
All parrots will be
Rotting parents.

(May 2006)

 

FACT OF LIFE

All peoples is liars.
All peoples is thieves.
All peoples is evil.
All peoples has teeves.

(May 2006)

 

DAMMIT SPREAD

Spread a little dammit
Wherever you go.
Spread a little dammit
And watch your head
Grow.

(May 2006)

 

RETURN

Go back to
Wherever it is
That you came
From.

(May 2006)

 

DOUBLED

Would you like
Coffee with your
Coffee?

(May 2006)

 

CONDOLEEZZA STEW

Take 12 pounds of anorexia
And mix with 15 pounds of
Hairspray.
Add 20 ounces of Yowsuh
And two heaping tablespoons
Of impuned integrity.
Cook until ready.

Serves 5 billion idiots.

(May 2006)

 

HELP

You can ask your parents for help
But your parents won't help you.
You can ask your friends for help
But your friends won't help you.
You can ask your teachers for help
But your teachers won't help you.
You can ask God for help
But God won't help you either.

(May 2006)

 

IMPOSSIBILITY

Everything is
Impossible.
Everything has always been
Impossible and
Everything will always be
Impossible.

(April 2006)

 

DONKEYFUEL

What make donkey go?
What make punkish drool?
Thing what is murky, funkish
Donkeyfuel.

(April 2006)

 

ITALIAN REALIZATION

Sex...
Itza bad!

(April 2006)

 

MAN MOUSE

You are a man
And you are a
Mouse.

(April 2006)

 

CASUAL FAB IGNORANCE

Ignorance is calming,
Seductive, and
Fantastic.

(April 2006)

 

BIRDIE BABY

Birdies took her baby
And carried it away.
Birdies tore her baby up
And threw it in the
Hay.

(April 2006)

 

WITH A CORPSE

Dance with a corpse.
Snort with a corpse.
Pour quarts on a corpse.
Play sports
With a corpse.

(April 2006)

 

ULTRA TACKY SPACE

Ultra tacky people in their
Ultra tacky places.
Litter their bitterness
Regularly in their
Ultra tacky
Spaces.

(April 2006)

 

BIGGER BIGGER BIGGER

Buildings are getting
Bigger.
Cars are getting
Bigger.
Everything is getting
Bigger bigger bigger.

(April 2006)

 

KNOWLEDGE NEXT

Knowledge is next to
Nothing.

(April 2006)

 

SISSY SCHOOL

Let's all go to
Sissy School
So we can be
Generic.
Let's all go to
Sissy School so
We can be like
Erik.

(April 2006)

 

FATHER FART

Our Father
Who farts in Heaven.
Hallowed be
Thy farts.

(April 2006)

 

NERVE SWERVE

The nerve of some people.
The verb of some people.
The curve of some people.
The swerve of some people.

(April 2006)

 

SQUEAL PIG

Squeal pig squeal.
Squeal about the car.
Squeal pig squeal.
Squeal about the clothing.
Squeal pig squeal.
Squeal about celebrities.
Squeal pig squeal.
Now STOP.

(March 2006)

 

PENNY

A penny for your thoughts.
A penny for your pumps.
A penny for your napkins.
A penny for your hairspray.

(March 2006)

 

BUMMER

You got a new job.
Bummer.
You won the lottery.
Bummer.
You made it through surgery.
Bummer.

(March 2006)

 

SORRY

So sorry
To see you.
So sorry
To hear you.
So sorry
To be near you.
So sorry
To know you.

(March 2006)

 

CONKY

Conky this Conky that.
Conky, Conky, Conky cat.
Conky me, Conky you.
Conky Ted and Tammy too.
Conky is as Conky does.
Conky is and
Conky was.

(March 2006)

 

PRECIOUS

Life is precious.
Life is fair.
Life seeps through your
Underwear.

(March 2006)

 

LIVID IN INDIA

Livianne and David are
Livid in India.

(March 2006)

 

TABLE CRAWL

Here's the church and
Here's the stable.
Open the doors and
Crawl under the table.

(March 2006)

 

WISH SHOE

I wish I were me.
I wish I were you.
I wish I were fifty bucks
Stuck inside a
Shoe.

(March 2006)

 

WORDOPHOBIA

Which words
Are okay and
Which words
Are not
Okay?

(March 2006)

 

DEMOCRATIC

Democracies prove
That the majority of people
Are always
Wrong.

(February 2006)

 

OUR GOVERNMENT

Our government is so full of lies,
Full of lies,
Full of lies.
Our government is so full of lies,
How could anyone believe in it?

Our government is such a farce,
Such a farce,
Such a farce.
Our government is such a farce,
How could anyone take it seriously?

Our government is so corrupt,
So corrupt,
So corrupt.
Our government is so corrupt
That we would all be better off without it.

(February 2006)

 

SHUT UP ABOUT IT

The world is lovely so
Shut up about it.

Life is worth living so
Shut up about it.

Nothing means anything so
Shut up about it.

Shut whatever needs to be shut and
Shut up about it.

(February 2006)

 

ISN'T

Isn't she a beauty?
Isn't she beautiful?
Isn't she shitty?

Isn't he lovely?
Isn't he wonderful?
Isn't he shitty?

Isn't life cool?
Isn't life neat?
Isn't life shitty?

(February 2006)

 

POPULAR PIGS

All bow down
To the popular pigs.
All watch and listen
To the popular pigs.

Popular pigs
Come in all shapes and sizes
And in all the colors
Of the goddamn rainbow.

Popular pigs
Snort and grovel with glee
Because popular pigs
Get whatever they please.

(February 2006)

PLEASE THANK YOU

If you want to say "please"...
Don't say it.

If you want to say "thank you"...
Don't say it.

Don't say anything
To anyone
Ever.

(February 2006)

SQUIRREL

She put a feather
In her asshole
And shook it all around.

She put a rifle
In her asshole
And blew it like a clown.

She put a megaphone
In her asshole
And shouted to the world.

She put a congressman
In her asshole
And shitted like a squirrel.

(February 2006)

HOWDY DO

Howdy do, metal punk.
Howdy do to you.

Howdy do, tatooed skinhead.
Howdy do to you.

Howdy do, painted lady.
Howdy do to you.

Howdy do, generic farmhand.
Howdy do to you too.

(February 2006)

MIGHTY

I want to live
In a mighty big house.
I want to make
Mighty big sums of money.
I want to go
On mighty fine trips.
I want to have hips
Just like goddamn Mighty Mouse.

(February 2006)

GOD MAKES DRESSES

God helps those who help themselves.
God cleans those who cleanse themselves.
God helps elves who help other elves.
God makes shelves for those who make shelves themselves.
God dresses pretty for those who dress pretty themselves.
God blows his nose at those who blow their own noses.
God shakes his booty at those who shake their own booties.
God throws temper tantrums at those who throw their own temper tantrums.
God opens up fancy new popular nightclubs for those who open their own fancy new popular nightclubs.
God makes silk dresses for those who can't make their own silk dresses.

(February 2006)

DROP DOWN

Drop down and give me twenty.
Drop down and give me thirty.
Drop down and give me something just
Drop down and give.

(February 2006)

GIVE BIRTH

Give birth to puppies.
Give birth to kittens.
Give birth to chickens.
Give birth
For the hell of it.

(February 2006)

DULL AND BORING

Everyone is dull and boring,
Dull and boring,
Dull and boring.

Everything is dull and boring,
Dull and boring,
Dull and boring.

But why is everything dull and boring,
Dull and boring,
Dull and boring?

Contemplation is dull and boring,
Dull and boring,
Dull and boring.

(February 2006)

 

ARE THE SAME

Right and wrong.
Wrong and right.
Right and wrong are the same.

Good and bad.
Bad and good.
Good and bad are the same.

Life and death.
Death and life.
Life and death are the same.

Same and same.
Same and same.
Same and same are the same.

(January 2006)

 

THROWAWAY THUMBS

Sauce for the moo and
Mushes on the meow.
Her soft fushy mango,
Her neat brittle brow.

The bongo mechanics
Are tinky and toy.
The singalong hammers
With linkety snoy.

The farm full of banjo,
The finger of harm
Will bingo forever
In throwaway thumbs.

(January 2006)

 

LITTLE TACKY

Come and dance,
Little Tacky.
Come and dance the shaker.

Take your trance pills,
Little Tacky.
Take your pills and run.

Little Tacky
Tastes his snacky,
Takes his snacky home.
Little Tacky
Whupped like yacky,
Snips his rosy cone.

(January 2006)

 

DOLLY MUCOUS

All that we are
Is dolly mucous.
All that we can be
Is dolly mucous.

I fell in love with
Dolly mucous.

She followed me home
Like hocus pukus.

She met at the corner
Of holly polly.

She stared at the stump
Of hoity toity.

(January 2006)

 

SALT AND PEPPER POPPA

Sad and lonely
Salt and Pepper Poppa
Sits alone at his table
And strokes at his beard.

His mind is treble and
His body is bass.

He hasn't a shield and
He hasn't a trace.

(January 2006)

 

SHE HAD A MAD BAD BABY

She was angry and lost
So she had a mad bad baby.
The worst of the baddest of bad.

The baby grew up.
She pushed it away.

But the baby came back,
Badder and madder than ever.

She held the mad bad baby.
It chewed her to pieces
On that terrible wonderful day.

(January 2006)

 

RUBBER GLOB

Oh rubber glob
Who art in Heaven
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come
They will be done
On earth as it is in
Rubber glob.

(January 2006)

 

SHEEPLE

Sheeple here.
Sheeple there.
Sheeple, sheeple
Everywhere.

Never will they
Feel the flame
For all the sheeple
Act the same.

(January 2006)

 

WAH WAH WOMB

Live and die
In wah wah womb.

Stay inside
Of wah wah womb.

Cut in two
The wah wah womb.

Stay inside
The wah wah tomb.

(January 2006)

 

NUT

Twinkle twinkle
Little nut.
How I wonder
What is
What.

(November 2004)

 

SHACKY DUMPLING

Throw me your hands,
Shacky Dumpling squirt.
Lend me your gear slinks
My Shacky Dumpling dingy.

Your ears are stout and phony,
Your mother cleans a pony.
With all the strappy poo-plack
It seems like crop and doo-lakk.

Ponder some zooey stuff and
Let your crazy razor do the lifting.
Pack your paper bag with lazy pumpkin
And do the shrink-wrap boogie with lumpkin.

Missy Lumpkin.
What a name.
Missy Lumpkin.
Down the drain.

Donate your
Goddamn money to the
Shacky Dumpling
Of your goddamn choice.

(September 2004)

 

OLYMPIC DUMPS

Every Olympic person
Is a real Olympic Dump.
Every Olympic anything
Is a real Olympic nothing.

Olympics show just
How much emphasis people put
On things that should never really matter
In the first place.

So you can jump really high.
Congratulations, Olympic Dump.
So you can throw a ball really far.
Congratulations, Olympic Dump.
So you can run really fast.
We are all so impressed with you, Olympic Lumpy Dump.
You can do all kinds of stupid, dull stuff
Better than others can.
What a sorry sister you are, Olympic Dump.
You can compete all you want,
But you'll always be a Dump.

Olympic Dumps
Will save the day.
When Olympic Dumps
Just go away.

(September 2004)

 

SHAMPOO YOUR RECTUM

When showers time comes
And there's no one to see
Shampoo your rectum
With power and glee.

There's no time like presents
Except just like pests.
There's no time whatever,
To stash all the guests.

Dreamboats are not boats and
Empires are not fires.
Rectums is all dirty
Unless they gets shampooed, that is.

So shampoo often,
Shampoo well.
Shampoo 'til
You rot in Hell.

(June 2004)

 

BAMBI DIAPERS

There is a world
A different world
And it is filled with
Bambi Diapers.

Bambi Diapers
Curdle and whey.
That is the way
They know they must stay.

When Bambi Diapers
Curl up and die.
That is the day
We all say bye bye.

(June 2004)

 

GOD IS A POODLE

God is a poodle
With ticks and worms
He scratches the ditches
And creams in the storm.
His bitchy old woman
Is watching the seas
As God picks his wisdom
With curry and cheese.

(June 2004)

 

WEDDING WIPERS

The day we change our
Windshield wipers
That will be our
Wedding Day.

(May 2004)

 

PUSSY MAGIC

Stretch the wrong thing
Until the witch crowns.
Watch the wrong fawn
With magazine hounds.

We all fall for
Pussy magic.
Just like the kings
And the cheese dogs of old.

Pass the wrong side dish
And kick the wrong dog hole.
Wax the wrong sassy-poo
And pluck off the stove porch.

We all smell for
Mussy pagic.
Just like the magic
We cracked in our corn.
Just like the magic
We raped when we stacked it.
Just like the pussy
That made magic Mary.

(April 2004)

 

GUYS WITH NOSE RINGS

Guys with nose rings are
Terrible things.
Thinking they are unique
They strut around like freaks...
Making sensible adults
Shudder in disgust.

Guys with nose rings are
Manipulated like strings.
Thinking they are exceptional
They all really look identical...
Instead of showing their masculinity
In reality they display
Their faggot sensibilities.

Guys with nose rings are just like
Girls with nose rings are just like
Guys with nose rings are just like
Girls with nose rings.
They're all scum sucking generic freaks.

(April 2004)

 

LONGER

The longer
We live
The shittier
The world gets.

(January 2004)

 

AMERICA THE DOUBTFUL

Why on earth
Would anyone fight
For a country
That isn't worth
Fighting for
In the first place?

(December 2003)

 

WARM VOMIT

Find the warm vomit
That is sitting in your head.
Feel the vomit,
Touch the vomit,
Bleed until you're dead.

Spread the vomit smoothly
Until heaven comes along.
Spread it over continents
Until it is all gone.

Eat the vomit giblets
With tenacity and love.
Give the giblets groovy rings
And keep them in a glove.

Even dogs don't get the joke
When they're not so warm.
Vomit doggies comatose,
Nailed inside a barn.

(November 2003)

 

CHRISTOPHER REEVE

The freak that wouldn't
Say goodbye.
Die freak,
Die.

 

ACCEPTANCE

It's okay
For me
To be a bastard.


ASS GRAVY

Ass Gravy
Is tender and beautiful.
Ass Gravy
Makes me want to cry.
Ass Gravy unifies our planet
And makes little poodles
Square dance in the mud.


BIBLE

What does the Bible say?
It says nothing.


BLIND

I can't see
A goddamn
Thing.


BOO BOO

Boo Boo was Yogi's sex slave.
Yogi forced Boo Boo
To drink his urine.
Yogi made Boo Boo
Eat his feces.
There's a lot that went on
That they never let us see
Between Yogi and Boo Boo.


CAPITAL PUNISHMENT

Don't kill
Your fellow man.
Let the government
Do that.


CHEWING A LEG OFF

Chewing it off.
Chewing it off.
Chewing it off.
Snap.


DISTANCE

The distance
Between any two points
Is annoying.


EXCLUSIVELY GAY

Shop at
Exclusively gay stores.
Attend
Exclusively gay parties.
Crack
Exclusively gay jokes.
Be
Self-absorbed and boring.


FABRIC OF OUR SOCIETY

Watch as the
Fabric of our society
Unravels and falls apart.
It was bad fabric
Anyway.


FAMILY

A pain in the ass
Forever and ever.
Family.
Totally fucked up
Till the end of eternity.
Family.
Whose fault is it
That things are
The way they are?
Horrible and ugly.
Family.


FEMINISTS

Let's
Get rid of them.


FORGOTTEN

I've forgotten what I did.
I've forgotten who I am.
I've forgotten what's important.
I forgot to check the biscuits.


FRANCE

France is a
Bad place.


HEAD

Rub the head.
Rub the head.


IGNORANCE

Self-imposed ignorance
Is a wonderful thing.
The less you know,
The clearer you dream.
The more you ignore,
The better things seem.


IMPOSSIBALLS

Your balls
Refuse
To follow instructions.


MUSCLES

Your muscles and
My muscles are
Lying on the floor
In a neat little pile.
They are not moving.


NUDITY KILLS

People without clothes
Will dry up and
Blow away.


NUT WHORE

I'm a nut whore.
There's nothing
I won't do
For nuts.
Oh, to be a
Nut whore.
Who could ask
For more?


OPERATION CANCELLED

We have decided
Not to
Operate.


OPINION

Opinions are like assholes.
Everybody has them
And they're all
Shitty.


REPRODUCTION

Reproduction is a very
Ugly thing.


RUPTURE

Describe how
The rupture
Felt.


SELF IMPORTANCE

How did your
Head get so big?


STARS TOO

Stars shoot up.
Me too.


STILLBORN

I will
Always remember you
That way.


SUDDEN KITTEN DEATH

If a kitten dies and
No one is around to
Observe it dying,
Is the kitten really dead?

 

©1997-2006 LMNOP (aka dONW7)

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