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August 2007 Reviews by

Okay...so these aren't really reviews... Because we were concerned about burning out from way, way, WAY TOO MUCH great music we decided to take a bit of a break this month and write nothing but poetry. Does that mean we are bad people? Maybe not, maybe...who cares? In any event...we will be back with a nice, big, thick, juicy REAL review section in SEPTEMBER. So...until then...take a break, break the law, hack up a mammal, and do something that is likely to ruin your life and the lives of those around you... Remember to be good boys and girls now! Toodle-ooo!

A Little Alcohol
Apology Accepted

Baby Skin
Bad Art

Beautiful Light
Best Friends
The Big Reward
Burial

Choice
Cutlery

Delicious
Disposable
Dog Fight
Education
Failure
Family Values
Freedom of Hate

Get Out of School

Habitat For Our Vanity
Happy Birthday
Health Don't Care
Historical
Holy Fresh

Injection
Jesus Colors
Jesus Says Sew
Lame
Mammal Dinner

Neato
Organic
Osama Obama
Reason
Sarcastic Children
Scholastic

Seedy
Sexy Shut Up

Soul Music
Spot Removal
Teamwork

Unfair
Uninteresting
Warholic Reason

Wine and Dine
You Have Vomit

 

DISPOSABLE

Disposable watches.
Disposable cameras.
Disposable telephones.
Disposable friends.
Disposable families.
Disposable memories.

(August 2007)

 

SARCASTIC CHILDREN

Our children
Are sarcastic because
The things we teach them are
Stupid.

(August 2007)

 

FAMILY VALUES

Family values
Offer guidance for
Assholes.

(August 2007)

 

INJECTION

Inject yourself
With a substance that is
Lethal.

(August 2007)

 

SPOT REMOVAL

Remove yourself
From the spot you're in
So that there will be
No evidence that you were
Here.

(August 2007)

 

HEALTH DON'T CARE

Your health
Don't give a
Damn.

(August 2007)

 

UNFAIR

Those who whine loudest
About unfairness in the world
Are those who don't deserve
A single goddamn thing.

(August 2007)

 

BABY SKIN

Skin your baby,
Rip it off quick.
Muffle its screams with
A big hard
Stick.

(August 2007)

 

BEST FRIENDS

God and Satan
Are the best of
Friends.

(August 2007)

 

HABITAT FOR OUR VANITY

Let's all build crappy homes
For retarded losers so that we can
Brag about how kind and generous
We are.

(August 2007)

 

HISTORICAL

History is
Shit.

(August 2007)

 

OSAMA OBAMA

Obama good,
Osama bad.
Osama good,
Obama bad.
Ogama glood,
Goblama prad.
Flugrama kwood,
Schreglerama fnadd.

(August 2007)

 

DOG FIGHT

Dog fight is
Good entertainment
Where one dog fight
Other dog to
Death.

(August 2007)

 

GET OUT OF SCHOOL

The more you put
Into your schoolwork
The less you will
Get out.

(August 2007)

 

DELICIOUS

All harsh chemicals are
Delicious.

(August 2007)

 

EDUCATION

Schools teach children
How to hate one
Another.

(August 2007)

 

THE BIG REWARD

If you work hard enough
You will eventually be rewarded
With nothing.

(August 2007)

 

UNINTERESTING

Life and death are both
Equally uninteresting.

(August 2007)

 

BEAUTIFUL LIGHT

The beautiful light in heaven
Will burn you into pieces
As you enter.

(August 2007)

 

CHOICE

When given a choice
People will always
Make the wrong
Decision.

(August 2007)

 

JESUS COLORS

Red and yellow,
Black and white.
Jesus hates them all.

(August 2007)

 

TEAMWORK

If everyone works together
Nothing will ever get done.

(August 2007)

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Celebrate
Your goddamn birthday
With a shitty goddamn cake
And worthless goddamn
Presents.

(August 2007)

 

WINE AND DINE

Wine and dine.
Wine and dine.
Stuff your fat jowels
All the time.

(August 2007)

 

SEEDY

Plant a seed and
Watch it grow.
Then spray it with
Weed killer and
Watch it die.

(August 2007)

 

NEATO

Our friends are all dying
And rotting away.
Neato.

(August 2007)

 

ORGANIC

Organic this.
Organic that.
You're still grotesque,
Ugly, and
Fat.

(August 2007)

 

WARHOLIC REASON

In the future
Everyone will be
Reasonable for
Fifteen minutes.

(August 2007)

 

YOU HAVE VOMIT

You have vomit in your teeth.
You have vomit in your hair.
You have vomit on your face.
Vomit, vomit, everywhere.

You have vomit in your eyes.
You have vomit on your thighs.
You have vomit in your cheeks.
You have vomit in your speech.

You have vomit under your arms.
You have vomit in your pubic hair.
You have vomit on your feet.
You have vomit, that is neat.

You have vomit in your veins.
You have vomit in your fart.
You have vomit in your brain.
You have vomit in your heart.

(August 2007)

 

APOLOGY ACCEPTED

Run over your baby
With a big car really fast.
Throw your goddamn baby
Into a dumpster and run away.
Kick your beautiful baby
So hard that its little bones break.
Then kiss your precious baby and
Tell it how sorry you are.

(August 2007)

 

SOUL MUSIC

The music you make
Represents the crap
Inside your
Soul.

(August 2007)

 

CUTLERY

Nip and tuck,
Nip and tuck.
No amount of surgery
Will ever be enough.

(August 2007)

 

A LITTLE ALCOHOL

Alcohol is the dumbest drug,
The dumbest drug of all.
So what if it is legal?
It just makes you feel small.

(August 2007)

 

REASON

Hate homosexuals
Not for what they are
But for who they
Are.

(August 2007)

 

SEXY SHUT UP

Everyone
Should shut up
About sex.

(August 2007)

 

JESUS SAYS SEW

Sew your vagina shut
With polyester thread.
Let it stay that way for years,
That's what Jesus says.

(August 2007)

 

SCHOLASTIC

Guns in school?
Yes, okay.
We will learn a lot
Today.

(August 2007)

 

MAMMAL DINNER

Bake your mammal
At 450 degrees
For 3 hours.
Then hack it up and
Eat it.

(August 2007)

 

BAD ART

Art is poison
For the mind.
Look at art and you'll go
Blind.

(August 2007)

 

BURIAL

Plant yourself
In the ground
And rot there
Forever.

(August 2007)

 

LAME

Birth and death
Are one and the same.
Each, like the other,
Is totally lame.

(August 2007)

 

FAILURE

If at first you don't succeed
Mumble goddamn several times
And walk away.

(August 2007)

 

HOLY FRESH

Drill holes
In your breasts
To keep the milk
Fresh.

(August 2007)

 

FREEDOM OF HATE

You can hate anyone anywhere you like
For whatever reason you choose.

You can hate them because of their voice.
You can hate them because of their smell.
You can hate them because of their sexual orientation.
You can hate them because of their personality.
You can hate them because of their opinions.
You can hate them because of their hair.
You can hate them because of their race.
You can hate them because of their weight.

You can hate anyone anywhere you like
For whatever goddamn reason you choose.

(August 2007)

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