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On Vacation This Month So There Ain't No Goddamn July 2008 Reviews
by

Hey there KIDDIES! We're taking a vacation so...there AIN'T no reviews this month! But...we'll be back NEXT month with lots and LOTS more goddamn coverage and super special poems for all ya'll critters out there what wants it.

So...what are we been UP to? Lots. Lots and lots and lots. We done been spending plenty of time in Darfur helping to raise people's awareness of all the terrible atrocities in Africa. Oh the pain. Oh the suffering. Oh the sadness. If only everyone would help the world would be a better place. We held the babies in our arms...all the lovely starving babies...and we allowed those babies to nurse from our breasts. And in doing so we felt at peace with the universe. Love is the answer. Love is the only answer.

But that's not ALL we done been doing. We've also been spending a lot of time in the back yard. We run this way and that way...we trot along the fence happily wagging our tails...and then comes our favorite time of the day...FEEDING time. Oh how we love it when our master comes out with our food bowl filled to the brim with goodies. Such THRILLS! Such EXCITEMENT! We love to eat and it makes us purr...plus it makes our fur shiny and manageable.

But that's not ALL we done been doing. We've also been mashing up a bunch of stuff for the hell of it. Sometimes it don't matter WHAT we're mashing up or WHY...as long as we get that cool rush from smushing things up in our fingers. It's a neato treato feeling that everyone should experience at least fifty thousand times or more.

But that's not ALL we done been doing. We've also been crashing on the mythical booboo. It ain't everyone what's got a chance to crash on the most special booboo around, so we take this royal opportunity very seriously. Sometimes the colors bleed all too frequently into the sky causing the booboo to blur...but most of the time the colors are vivid and rather spectacular. Damn, it feels good to do what you know you really ought to be doing.

But that's not ALL we done been doing. We've also been giving away free gasoline and food. Because everyone, it seems, is having such a hard time lately...we have adopted a non-fulfilling duty to provide everything everyone needs at no cost to them. Everyone has always been so generous and wonderful to us...now it is OUR turn to give back to all the wonderful people on earth. Here, have some pure beef patties and tasty homemade chicken stew. Mmmm....isn't that good? Have some granules of vanilla and some generous handfuls of curious pudding. Eat it up while its still hot now. And what's that, you say? Your car is almost out of gas? Here, let us fill it up FOR you. We are your servants to the end of eternity. Just let us know what it is you need and we will most surely provide every single goddamn thing...whatever it may be.

Well...there's a lot more that's been going on...but why should we share it with YOU? You don't give a damn anyway. You didn't give a damn then and you sure don't give a damn now. And we don't give a damn neither. We're tired of wasting our time on wurfliss nuffin-ness so we'll just end this goddamn thing right now...before somebody gets their feelings hurt...

See you next month! Until then, be SWEET and KIND to one another! Love you all SO MUCH!!!

Sincerely,

The LMNOP faculty and

The babysue staff